Barry has not been a good house guest. While I was in NJ 2 weeks ago, I got a text from Charles with this picture. Charles was on the receiving end of Barry's mouth and got a puncture wound. (!) Needless to say that Charles was not happy and Barry became an outside dog from that point on. Actually, he's no longer invited to stay here.
This is crushing to me. Imagine picking up your life and starting over in a new place and the only constant thing, your dog who has been your best friend for 5 years is now no longer the family pet who gets to hang out on the edge of the bed. But he's the invited house guest who has to live outside, like an animal, until I can bring him back to New Jersey to my parents' house.
I won't lie. I cried a lot knowing that my friend fucked up his chances of living with me in my new home. I don't know what will be the ending to this chapter of the story. My parent's won't keep him forever. I will likely have to find him a new home.
Today I handed in my work laptop and completed my exit interview. On the way home I got a call from my Raleigh recruiter about setting up a WebEx interview with one of her clients tomorrow.
I also signed the contract for the accepted offer on my house. The offer price was within the range of what I wanted to accept and the closing date is July 30. If all this goes well, I will have a tremendous emotional and financial weight lifted off my shoulders.
So far, things are going well. But I won't be so bold as to not accept any wishes of luck, silent prayers directed my way or some general good thoughts. Every little bit helps, right?
You're in a restless, and no matter where you are, there's someplace else you'd rather be. While you might ordinarily be able to distract yourself until you can find a practical way to get out, you're unwilling to waste a moment now. Cut to the chase -- announce to one and all that you've got someplace to be, and get yourself there. It's time for the next step on your journey.
Again, this is a very fitting horoscope for me today. It's my last day of work today. And ever since I announced that I was leaving, my mind has been quickly shutting off. I've been focused on other things, selling my house, packing my stuff, settling in my new home, you know-- basic life stuff.
I know I should be getting concerned about the no work/mortgage due situation. But right now, I just can't. If I worry about it today or tomorrow, it will still be there. But in the meantime I'm enjoying every moment that I spend with Charles as he helps me get familiar with my new surroundings.
I met with a recruiter in Raleigh Wednesday morning which went well. I got a call from another person at a bank asking me to submit my resume for an instructional designer position with them. So at least there's some activity on the job front. That's encouraging enough to me to make me want to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon instead of spending 2 hours scouring the online job boards.
I feel extremely blessed/lucky/grateful about how my life has been lately. Its as if all those wishes after years of blowing out the candles on my birthday cake are finally coming true.
I've taken quite a leap. I upped my end date at work from June 25 to June 11. As in next Friday.
I did it because my billable work is slowing down and I felt really guilty hanging around with nothing (that I wanted) to do. I could work on some of the personal project/development-building stuff, but I no longer had the excitement for it. I was concentrating on packing my things, selling my house, settling in North Carolina, looking for work. Finishing out three more weeks of my current job just seems so mundane.
Sunday I'm packing some clothes and the dog in my car and driving down to NC for the week. I'll be back in NJ for the final move at the end of the month. While I'm there I'll do some things around the house, get familiarized with my surroundings, introduce the dogs to each other. Hopefully I go on some interviews.
But that's the exciting thing. I don't have a job lined up. My paychecks will stop coming in and my bills will continue to come. I'll have to pay for my health insurance.
I feel like I'm jumping out of a plane and crossing my fingers that my parachute will actually open. And I feel OK.
I think its because this is part of my adventure. I'm finally living one of those Springsteen songs where the guy and girl take off down that highway because 'its a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win'. This is my shot as something amazing. And I won't be doing it alone.
I just took a close look at my finances and had to do a double-take. Since I've been working full time at my job I have been losing almost $1000 a month!
My expenses have been fairly consistent over the past 9 months, except for a holiday spike, so it's not like I've been spending more. Even when I take into account my road trip in March, there's nothing really extravagant that I spent money on.
Yet making the move from contractor to full time crippled me financially. Sure I got the benefits of medical, dental, 401K, vacation, holidays. But holy crap does it come with a price! Over $20/hour difference (if I did my math correctly).
As much as I liked the job and the opportunity to grow my career, I realize that I just can't afford to work there. So it's a really good thing that I've decided to move to North Carolina. I just hope my house sells soon so I can get rid of my major expenses (mortgage, student loans, car). Then the cost of living at a lower rate/salary for the Raleigh area won't be such a strain on my wallet.
It's funny to me just how much my priorities have shifted these past few weeks. Or at least how I spend my time.
I don't watch TV much anymore. My Netflix subscription is practically useless. I have 4 DVDs sitting idle in a box. Books have been sitting in a pile and my journal is getting lonely.
I look around at the things that have accumulated in my house these past six years and wonder how they all got there? That glass pelican with a fish in its belly? Where did that come from? I know I didn't buy it.
As I pack up my belongings, I'm taking swift actions to get rid of the things that weigh me down, that have no value to me, that just take up space. I look at things that have fostered solo activities and consider their usefulness. Do I really want to spend hours making candles, or scrapbooking? No.
Because I no longer have to think of my life in the "I" sense. I can now look at it as "we". And it's not that I'm shedding my identity for the sake of someone else, but I'm allowing it to morph into something that allows for someone else to share some space.
Life has been moving in high gear. But not too fast that I haven't had time to appreciate it.
I'm now 37 years old. I'm old enough to realize that the things that are most important to you are worth fighting for. And young enough to realize that you're never to old to dream.
The day after my birthday, I walked in the Walk Now for Autism Speaks event in South Jersey. I was the team captain and tried to recruit my sorority sisters -- both alums and collegiate members -- to walk with me. I guess I should be surprised that only three other alums and two collegians showed up, but I really wasn't. I'm just really happy that I didn't try to do anything extravagant for my team.
I won't count dressing up as my sorority mascot as extravagant. That was fun.
I had always wanted to be a character at Disney World. Today I got to fulfill a small part of it. I gave high-fives to kids and passed out balloons. I posed in pictures and had a really fun time being a big kid.
That evening my family had a party for me. I broke the news that I put my house on the market and that I was moving in with Charles in North Carolina. I was glad he was there with me. Not only would it show to my family that I was serious about this, but it would give them more chances to get to know Charles and realize just how great a man he is.
I got some expected questions:
Where are you going to live? (with Charles)
When are you leaving? (by the end of June)
What about Barry? (He's coming with me)
What does he do for a living? (runs his own home improvement company)
How old are his daughters? (15 and 12)
Have you met them? (I met his oldest daughter)
What are you going to do for work? (I'll become a contractor for my current employer. If that doesn't work, then I'll find a job in Raleigh. If not, then I'll just be a kept woman.)
It turned out to be a really nice evening. There was no weirdness. My aunts and cousins were genuinely excited for me and the adventures I have in store. I pretty much got the 'thumbs up' on Charles. He fit in the family well and wasn't shy at all.
Sunday was a work day for Charles and I. We removed unnecessary furniture, spackled and painted, packed, cleaned and got the house ready for the market. It was a long, tiring day. Charles wanted to make sure that he got to do all the big jobs before he flew back home Monday morning. I had time for small packing and staging, but not too much. I was flying back down to NC Wednesday night and had to make sure everything was ready before then.
The best part is discovering how well we work together. We were a team. And when Charles got tired and hungry and cranky, I was still able to pick him up, find him food at my Mom's kitchen, and turn him human again. :)
I would have never imagined the turn my life would take when I drove down to Key West.
In just two months I have found the man I have waited my life for, I fell in love and am following my heart to North Carolina. To stay.
My New Jersey townhouse goes on the market Thursday. My first open house is Sunday. All this will be going on while Charles and I frolic at his mountain house near Boone, NC. While people are wandering my hallway, peeking into cabinets and criticizing my paint color choices, I will be hiking, horseback riding and star-gazing in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
About a month ago we talked about the direction we were heading in -- forward: me in North Carolina. We knew we wanted to be together and we weren't concerned about timelines or the quickness of it all. But when I was at the airport last week waiting for my flight back to Jersey the futility of plane tickets and extended airport parking hit us. Why are we doing this?
We had come to a point where we ask ourselves. Is this for real? Do we see a real future here? And if yes, then what will waiting a year, six months, six weeks really accomplish?
Through my tears I asked Charles, "what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to call a Realtor this week."
Monday afternoon I sent Charles a text. "We have an appointment with a Realtor Thursday."
"YES!!"
I knew I'd be selling my house to go and live with him. I didn't know that I would be doing it so soon. But the great thing is that I'm not scared. I'm excited to go and start my new adventures with this man who loves me. And I have no doubt in my mind that he does. Its not overwhelming or smothering, but energizing and comforting.
Friday, on my 37th birthday, I signed the contract with the Realtor. Charles sat next to me as I held the pen, grinning because he knew the big step we were taking together. He came up to visit me for my birthday, and now was looking forward to a few days of cleaning, painting, fixing, and packing.
Slowly my home is become less mine and turning into something that looks like it belongs on an HGTV show. And I couldn't be happier!
I like it that recently, the days we are apart are much shorter than the days that we spend together.
I got back from Raleigh on Sunday. I'll admit that my eyes were not entirely dry. But I need not worry too much. Charles will be here Thursday morning. Just in time to celebrate my birthday with me.
My time in NC has been comfortable. Very comfortable. Like I wonder why I ever have to leave. The reasons are getting less and less. I think soon that my travels to NJ will be for short trips and not for coming 'home'.
In the meantime, I'm getting busy with work and Charles is taking care of some stuff at his family's beach house. (Yes, beach house. Don't get it confused with the mountain house that I'll be at over Memorial Weekend.)
He sent me some pictures to let me know he's thinking of me.
You are definitely feeling that it’s time to take things to a deeper level, and it ought not be too hard to convince your partner you’re right. Don’t worry about the consequences just yet.
I spent this last semester as the alumnae Chapter Advisor for my sorority, Alpha Xi Delta at my alma mater, Rider University.
I have had a really amazing time getting to know the women of my chapter and helping them succeed on campus as a chapter and as individuals. Not all the interactions have been wonderful, but they all had learning opportunities for both me and the women. When I was an undergrad, the experience being in a sorority is the reason I am the person I am today. It had always been my desire to give something back to the chapter who had given me so much.
I have seen the women of Alpha Xi Delta do amazing things. Just last week they performed at the Greek Week Lip Synch contest.
However tonight at the Greek Awards Banquet, they really rose to the top. They won the following:
Highest New Member Cumulative GPA and Highest Overall Female GPA
Intramural Member of the Year
Highest Sorority Cumulative GPA
and the top award: Bart Luedeke Outstanding Chapter of the Year Award
Oh, and I didn't do too bad myself. The chapter nominated for Chapter Advisor of the Year and I won! I am so humbled and so proud of my chapter. *mush*
Prepare yourself for something you'd never have expected in a million years: the chance to start over with a brand new partner. Whether they fall into the romantic, platonic or professional category doesn't matter -- the point is that you're letting a new person into your life with no strings attached. What could possibly be better? Open yourself up to all new possibilities right now.
I just purchased my plane ticket to Raleigh. I'll arrive Tuesday night and stay until Friday night.
We'll play house: I'll work in the house during the day, he'll work out of the house and at night we get to play.
This is so fun and exciting for me. And I'm fortunate enough to be able to fly down there and still be able to work from home.
This weekend he's on vacation in Disney World with his daughters. I'll be working on a presentation I'm giving to my professional society on Saturday and my sorority on Sunday. There's plenty to keep us busy, but the anticipation of next week will be very distracting.
The first thing I noticed was a tall, handsome man with the bluest eyes walking towards me. I almost turned around to make sure he was talking to me. He had a smooth southern drawl that made me smile.
He was in Key West by himself and wanted to have a picture of him taken with the palm tree background. I suppressed my normal inclination to get all photo-geeky and worry about the light and shadows and flash and setting up a good shot. Instead I asked to make sure I clicked on the right button to take a picture and took the shot.
I handed his camera back to him so he can make sure he liked the photo. I thought that would be it. But I was wrong.
"I was about to go get some ice cream. Would you like to join me?"
I was thinking, Um...YEAH!
But instead I countered his ice cream offer with dinner as that was what I was in search for when he ran into me. I knew of a balcony bar that overlooked Mallory Square that would be a prime place to watch the sunset. He agreed to join me and we walked and talked and made our way along the water to the bar.
The second thing I noticed about him is how friendly he was.
Charles is 38, from Raleigh, NC and was taking some 'chill-time' in Key West. He had originally planned on staying for the week, but got bored with it and was cutting his trip short. He was flying back home tomorrow.
He gushed about his daughters (it was very sweet), we shared stories about our work, our families, what was important to us. We were asking all the standard 'get to know you' questions, but we talked as if we knew each other for years. We people-watched and made fun of the same people: the drunk old man, the rich woman with the tiny dog in her purse, the teenagers who pretended too hard to be adults, the twenty-something who was getting hit on by the old men.
Little by little, the normally protective exterior I usually possess gave way and I began to just enjoy the moment I was having. I had someone take our picture so I could record it and prove to myself that I wasn't making it all up.
Like a true gentleman, he paid for dinner. The third thing I noticed about him was his kindness.
We watched the sunset, him in his 6'3"-ness towering over behind me.
However, when the sun went down, the temperature dropped and we walked through the street performers and crowds through the marina along the water together to get my jacket out of my car. It was chance that we had met and the night was too young for this encounter to be over.
I could tell you about the geeky fun I had at my eLearning conference I went to in Orlando, and how I was Twitter-famous with my other eLearning Twitter geek friends. But I wont.
I probably could even tell you about the awesome time I had in St. Petersberg with my Alpha Xi Delta sisters. There was plenty of laughs to go around. But I know that that's not where the real story lies.
Instead I'm going to tell you about a chance encounter in Key West that has made all other stories I have ever shared pale in comparison.
On Tuesday, I finished my morning dive in Key Largo and drove down to Key West to complete my southern roadtrip, grab a margarita and a beer and watch the sunset. I arrived at around 5pm and found a place to park my car near the Historic Seaport of Key West. I looked up hotel rooms and started calling for reservations, but no where seemed to have availability. Looks like I would not be spending the night in Key West.
Hungry, and a little thirsty, I wandered along the marina admiring the boats and watching the pelicans wait for fish scraps to be thrown to them. I was making my way towards Mallory Square where I could sit and watch the nightly party as the crowds waited for the sun to set.
On my way there, I came across a building that had many whimsical outdoor sculptures. There was one in particular that amused me. It was of a man painting a group of dancing naked women. Just as I was filming, I hear someone ask me a question.
"Hey, can you take a picture for me?" (If you listen, you can hear it at the end of the video.)
Now, all my life I have loved John Hughes movies. He has made me believe in those 'movie moments' when you happen to turn around and your Jake Ryan is right there, just waiting for you. I just never expected that to happen to me.
I'm back from my roadtrip to Florida. I have had the most amazing time and I will need time to write it up.
But the most incredible time was my evening in Key West. I picked up a little something while I was there.
That turned into an unplanned stop in Raleigh, NC.
Good times, indeed!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Tomorrow I start my tip down to Florida for two weeks. Here's my horoscope for today. Sometimes the Universe knows me so well.
You have only one thing to do before you settle down for some serious recreation with your favorite playmates: Make sure all your business is taken care of. You wouldn't want to be in the middle of a wonderful evening, and then suddenly remember you left the computer on, would you? And you'll want to leave the cell phone at home, right? Well then, be sure to double check on your way out the door.
It's an ugly, rainy Saturday that's supposed to be crappy all weekend. I don't really mind as long as I have a good book, internet access and a well-stocked kitchen.
In anticipation of my sloth-like existence today, I prepared a yummy raspberry-topped plate of french toast.
Be jealous. It's only 9:30 and I'm ready for my morning nap.
I started my day in Jersey City as I waited for the Path train to take me to midtown Manhattan.
It was a nice day so I walked the 20 blocks from Herald Square up to 53rd Street.
I often forget that New York is a tourist spot. To me, it's just an extension of my neighborhood. So when I walked into the museum lobby at 10:30 on a Wednesday morning, I was a little shocked to see it to packed and humming with a dozen different languages.
I was thankful that I ordered and printed out my entry ticket last night because the lines were just too much to bare. I found a spot on a comfy ottoman and waited for @vivzan as I watched the people take pictures.
There were two things that caught my eye in the lobby. The first was this inflatable Tim Burton creature with many eyes. Even though he has a grotesque style, this thing seemed friendly and cuddly.
The second thing was a large painting hanging above an information desk.
At first glance, it looked like a silly painting of sailors with big noses. But upon closer look, I realized. Those weren't noses.
Viviane arrived and we set out immediately to the exhibit space for Tim Burton.
I really had no idea how talented he was as an illustrator and painter. I was even more floored when I learned that he was an animator for Disney. But the detail and shading in even his notepad doodles were so amazing.
Soon we were hungry and tired and needed a break. We went to the cafeteria on the 3rd floor and MOMA even made the meals another art instillation.
Each plate was presented as beautifully as it tasted. I had a tender chicken pannini and Viv had the yummiest pollenta I ever tasted. Then dessert... I had a rich, chocolate torte that could only be enjoyed with a glass of cold milk.
But then we got to the strange stuff and I just have to wonder, what makes it art? There was an instillation of a chair, and another of four pushpins stuck in a wall with string all around them. Then my favorites are the canvases painted one solid color with a line of white running down the side.
Seriously? WTF?!
But then we'd come across something interesting again.
It was a long day and by 4:30 we were all tired out. Damn, we were getting old.
I walked back down from 53rd through Times Square and came upon a little NYC drama.
I have no idea what happened. But 7th Ave was blocked off with tons of fire trucks, cop cars and a couple of stretchers. There were lines of people taking photos and videos but no one had a clue what happened. Typical. Just another day in New York City.
Things on the job front has begun to slow down considerably. Only temporarily, mind you. I start my new job April 5. But between now and then will be a glorious month of just...being.
Traveling with Pomegranates starts with the mother-daughter team traveling together in Greece. They are both on a journey to find themselves: Sue as she enters her 50's and Ann as she graduates college; as women coming to terms with their new role in life. As the story describes the incredible heat of the Athens streets and the spiritual connectedness they felt at the Acropolis, I was taken back to my own pilgrimage to Greece last summer.
Sue mentioned a quote that she inscribed in her own red leather journal that resonated with me.
"Pilgrims are poets who create by taking journeys." -Richard Neibhur
I am a poet to the core. I find myself by traveling. I am especially looking forward to this month off because it provides me with an opportunity to recharge my batteries. I will be driving down to Florida to attend the Learning Solutions Conference and Expo in Orlando. I loved it last year and I'm sure I will get as much out of it this year. After the conference, I'll be catching up with sorority sisters and finally meeting up with family and hopefully scuba diving in the Keys. Like any of my travels, there is a lot of room for change of plans so each day I will have to answer the question "What do I want to do today?"
Like Sue and Ann, I also feel like I'm at an important point in my life. I have finally found a career that I enjoy, I found an opportunity to give back through coaching and mentoring the women of my sorority, I can live a comfortable (and not extravagant) lifestyle, and I'm enjoying the skin I'm in. I'm in a really good place right now and I have to constantly remind myself to stop and appreciate it.
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