2010 in review

I don't know where the time goes. Weeks fly by faster than I thought possible.

This has been a tremendous year for me. I changed fairly static portions of my life and now I feel like I'm actually living.

Which may be part of the reason that I'm not writing. It does make me sad a little to let the days pass and moments that I would normally record for posterity are being slowly forgotten.

But here are some moments of 2010 that are saved forever for the world to see.

More like home

My photos are finally starting to be hung on the wall making my apartment feel more like my home. I still have a lot more photos of my travels to be hung, but this is a good start.

Turning 37

Life has been moving in high gear. But not too fast that I haven't had time to appreciate it.

I'm now 37 years old. I'm old enough to realize that the things that are most important to you are worth fighting for. And young enough to realize that you're never to old to dream.

The day after my birthday, I walked in the Walk Now for Autism Speaks event in South Jersey. I was the team captain and tried to recruit my sorority sisters -- both alums and collegiate members -- to walk with me. I guess I should be surprised that only three other alums and two collegians showed up, but I really wasn't. I'm just really happy that I didn't try to do anything extravagant for my team.

I won't count dressing up as my sorority mascot as extravagant. That was fun.

I had always wanted to be a character at Disney World. Today I got to fulfill a small part of it. I gave high-fives to kids and passed out balloons. I posed in pictures and had a really fun time being a big kid.

That evening my family had a party for me. I broke the news that I put my house on the market and that I was moving in with Charles in North Carolina. I was glad he was there with me. Not only would it show to my family that I was serious about this, but it would give them more chances to get to know Charles and realize just how great a man he is.

I got some expected questions:

• Where are you going to live? (with Charles)
• When are you leaving? (by the end of June)
• What about Barry? (He's coming with me)
• What does he do for a living? (runs his own home improvement company)
• How old are his daughters? (15 and 12)
• Have you met them? (I met his oldest daughter)
• What are you going to do for work? (I'll become a contractor for my current employer. If that doesn't work, then I'll find a job in Raleigh. If not, then I'll just be a kept woman.)

It turned out to be a really nice evening. There was no weirdness. My aunts and cousins were genuinely excited for me and the adventures I have in store. I pretty much got the 'thumbs up' on Charles. He fit in the family well and wasn't shy at all.

Sunday was a work day for Charles and I. We removed unnecessary furniture, spackled and painted, packed, cleaned and got the house ready for the market. It was a long, tiring day. Charles wanted to make sure that he got to do all the big jobs before he flew back home Monday morning. I had time for small packing and staging, but not too much. I was flying back down to NC Wednesday night and had to make sure everything was ready before then.

The best part is discovering how well we work together. We were a team. And when Charles got tired and hungry and cranky, I was still able to pick him up, find him food at my Mom's kitchen, and turn him human again. :)

This has been the best birthday ever.

2010: Resolutions

New Years Day I sat with my cousins around the breakfast table talking about what we wanted to accomplish in the new year.

Liam wants to put on weight (unlike millions of other Americans)
Ken wants to finish working on the laundry room.
Eric wants to take Ali on a trip to Europe.
Priscilla wants a job (so do I).

Me, along with my usual wish of seeing a new country, I also want to take pictures, video or write every day to record the wonderful but sometimes mundane aspects of the year. Because when you look back on it, it's a beautiful reminder of what you accomplished, witnessed or just survived.

So, with the help of my wonderful family, here's my first fulfillment of my 2010 New Years Resolutions.

2009: Year in Photos

I say goodbye to another year, and look forward to the next.

Wishing you health, love and laughter in 2010.

What Christmas Means To Me

Christmas seems to change for me over the years.

When I was little, there was magic in the air. From the lights on the christmas tree, to the sounds of spanish christmas music to the anticipation of listening for the reindeer on the roof.

During my tween and teen years it was about what cool gift was waiting under the tree.

College was about meeting up with your friends after all the family obligations were over.

Now Christmas is about none of that -- yet all of that.

Its about the magic of having my extended family all under the same roof.

About the cool gifts of laughter we share.

And about getting together with my family after all the work obligations are over.

I love Christmas.

Caro Christmas 2009 from Claudine Caro on Vimeo.

Passing the torch

I love playing softball. I started playing ball when I was in first grade and played all the way through my high school senior year. I've played on a work team here and there, but it was never the same as playing in high school.

Yesterday my cousin's daughter asked me to help her practice sliding. She's 11 and has only been playing softball for 2 years. I was so excited to show her because 1) I miss playing ball and 2) that she asked me in the first place.

We drove to a softball field near her house. This was also one of the fields I played at when I was her age. Nostalgia took over.

I was wearing a jean skirt and sandals, but that didn't stop me from showing her how it was done. I can still do it after so many years. Being in a skirt didn't change anything. But to me, sliding was so natural, I had to do it a few times so I could think about what my body was actually doing so I could explain it correctly.

I tried several things. First she just tried to copy what I did. That didn't work. Her legs and hips weren't going in the right direction and if she kept it up she would only get hurt. Then I had her concentrate on how she would position her left leg under her right. I had her just lay on the ground in the final 'slide position' so she can feel how her body should wind up. That didn't work so well either. Finally, I had her fall backwards into my arms simulating the moment that she slid into the base. She was supposed to practice bring her left leg up and shifting her hips at the same time. Nope.

I was frustrated because I didn't know what else to do have the sliding motion click into place for her. She was getting frustrated with herself, too. After about 45 minutes, it was getting late and she was getting tired. And I didn't want her to get hurt.

So we called it a night. I was bummed because she didn't get it. But I was happy that she didn't give up on herself and was genuinely interested in practicing so she could get it right. I hope she finds her groove and that she learns to love the sport as much as I do.

Snowtubing

Monday the family spent the afternoon at Camelback Tubing Park. It was fun, but I could do without the long lines waiting to get to the top of the hill.

What was the most interesting was the people watching. There were a large group of Orthodox Jews who were there enjoying the snow. It was just odd seeing the women with their long skirts and ski pants underneath.

Caro Christmas 2008

This is a typical Christmas Eve with my family... music, food, dancing, laughing...Good times.

The First Wedding

A few weeks ago, my vacation started with a whirlwind of activity. Friday night was a wedding in New Jersey and Saturday night was a wedding in Puerto Rico. They both were fun, lively and very entertaining, but I was exhausted.

I was just sent the link to the photographer's of the first wedding blog. Todd Laffler's pictures are quite simply stunning. He shoots as a photojournalist and I love it.

My mom did a reading at the ceremony. That's her in the photo.

The pictures were so great, I had to look at his other stuff. Check them out. They're all amazing. And I know how great they are because I don't even know these people and the emotion in them is making me get all mushy.

Back to real life

I'm back from vacation. I arrived Sunday morning at JFK airport and was stuffed into an SUV with 6 other people and all our luggage wedged in between us for an hour ride home.

I wish I could be more enthusiastic about telling stories about my trip. But I'm too tired. My body aches, my stomach hurts and I just want to sleep. Funny that these symptoms didn't show up until I was home.

I did have a good time, don't get me wrong. Hanging out in an apartment with my brother, my cousins and one of their boyfriends gave me a closeness with actual humans that I've been longing for for a while. Even our annoyances with each other became funny. We were the '5 Assholes' who were quick to pull away from the rest of the group to do our own thing.

I'm annoyed with myself that I didn't even write in my journal while I was there. I had no desire to remove myself from 'being in the moment' to stop what I was doing to write down the stories of the day. Now I might forget the drama that went on the whole week.

Being home, I have to concern myself with my homework again. I'm not motivated. I have to get back into work mode. I can't decide if I like my job today. I have to think about working on those home improvement projects that I've been letting slide. I don't feel like figuring out where the money is going to come from. I would rather just float on a raft in the warm waters of the Caribbean ocean letting the waves rock me to sleep.

Vacation: Day Five

I've been totally lame and not posting, but whatever. I'm on vacation. I am mad at myself for not even journaling because I am going to forget the ridiculous things that has happened so far.

Most of it has been stupid 'in the moment' things that us cousins will probably only find funny. There's been a lot of laughing, and drinking and swimming and more laughing. But there's also been plenty of drama. I attribute that to the merging of families and the stress that goes along with that.

But my Blackberry isn't working here and it's pissing me off. No phone service, no text message, no nothing.

Off to get some dinner.

More later.

Stony Brook Farm

This past Saturday, my family converged in upstate New York at my cousin's country home, Stony Brook Farm. It's a beautiful home that's perfect for hosting and entertaining plenty of guests.

I drove up there with my brother and Barry through a crazy rain that I thought would never let up. Finally we arrived and was amazed at all the new construction and landscaping that was done since last year. The most fun additions were a pond and a pool on their 42 acres of land.

The pond was warm and soon it was full of kids and adults and even my dog as we enjoyed the rare opportunity for some cooling off in the waterin' hole. The mud squished between my toes along the bottom. There were diving contests off the rocks. Frogs croaked along the banks. All I needed was an inner tube raft and a beer.

There was also some excitement. Ryan locked his keys in the trunk of his car and had to call AAA to unlock the car. It was quite an event as we all cheered on the porch as the rescue truck drove down the driveway. Poor Ryan, he's not even in the family yet but he gets as much crap as anyone else. He had to put up with being the butt of the jokes for the rest of the day. But at least he's the star of his own video.

Family gatherings are always special. They don't need to be fancy, just as long as there's food, everyone's happy. What's really wonderful is how the cousins have grown up so close and now the new generation of cousins get to experience the same closeness that we have. They will always know that their family will be there to turn to for laughs and for comfort.

I feel very lucky to have the family that I do. I know I don't tell them that often enough.

See the photo slideshow.

Single Rage

Have you ever been so infuriated that you wanted to straddle some guys neck just so you could pummel him in the face multiple times?

This weekend I was with my cousin at her boyfriend's house, hanging out at a family BBQ before we went off to see "The Dark Knight". I had met the family before at the Superbowl party. They were warm, welcoming and pretty cool so I had no insecurities about being there. I did notice that the boyfriend's brother paid extra attention to me. I could actually feel him looking at me. It was not a reciprocal feeling on my end.

We were sitting around the table eating when The Brother overhears me telling my cousin about my date the next day.

"You don't have a boyfriend? You're single?"

"Yup."

"Why? You're a nice looking girl."

"Um, I don't know. "

"Even been married before?"

"Nope."

"Really? What's wrong with you?!"

Oh. My. God. AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGME?

The rage begins with a fire in my chest quickly radiating out to my extremities actually causing my fists to flex. I quickly had to reel it in because I was a guest and I didn't want to embarrass my cousin.

This guy... this F'n GUY, is most likely someone who would give you the shirt off his back to help you. He's probably really sweet once you get to know him. He probably thought it was some sort of back-handed compliment or his perverse method of flirting. But I only met him once and on the surface, he mainly comes off as a jackass.

And really, fuck him! Divorced (I think) father of one who wouldn't be hurt by eating a salad once in a while. His love life isn't one for a Hollywood happy-ever-after story.

I had to coolly respond, "What makes you think that there's some problem with ME that I'm single?"

I think he saw how ferocious I was and the conversation was dropped. He also (wisely) decided to not go to the movies with us as originally planned.

So really? What's up with that question?

I've heard it often enough from distant aunts "you can't wait forever... what are you waiting for?...you're not getting any younger..." Each time it gets responded with a gritted smile and giggle but the rage is there. The last time I lost it and said "Well, I've never been married, therefore I've never been divorced and I consider that a pretty good thing," to my divorced aunt. Whatever. Screw her.

I don't necessarily like being single, but I'll take it any day over settling for some ho-hum guy just so I can say that I'm not alone. And I hate having to defend that to family and ass-clowns who think they're trying to be cute.

family moments

I'm so glad to have grown up when I did. Being a teenager in the 80's just seemed so much easier. No cell phones, no internet, no IM. And most important, no videocamera in my little brother's hand.

Thank god this wasn't my family.

he gets to live

My cousin's son is 9 years old, and is most of the time a pain in the ass. Everyone is desperately waiting for puberty to hit him because he has this whiny, high-pitched voice that goes through me like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Last night at my mom's house for dinner, she brings out the birthday cake. On it is "Happy 35th Birthday"

He yells, "35? You're 35? I thought you were 25!"

dust off the passport again

'm just sitting here watching the wheels turn round and round...

I leave for my vacation Saturday night. My mom and I are going to London and Paris for a week. I am so ready to get the hell out of here. I'm restless and need to get away from job, boys, and monotony.

I will load up on film - both 33mm and video. I will be annoying tourist with all kinds of gadgets wrapped around my neck. I will be in my haven of exploring new things.

I won't even think about having to come back home again.