Day 03: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Something I have to forgive myself for?

This is a hard one because I either already forgave myself for stuff, or I don't feel like I did anything wrong where I need forgiveness.

Not to say that I'm without fault. I've got plenty. But you can paralyze yourself with things that are wrong with you, or you can say 'to hell with it' and live with it.

As a personal rule, I try not to deliberately cause others pain, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I remember right after I graduated from college I broke up with my boyfriend of 3+ years. We had our differences: I graduated after 4 years of college, he didn't. I was president of my sorority, his great aspiration was to earn the 'silver keg' award in his fraternity. I went to class and made Dean's List my senior year. He skipped class to sleep off hangovers.

So when I was faced with the thought that I might spend the rest of my life with this person, I said hell no!

I broke up with him sitting on the swing sets in a park. I told him I loved him, but I was sick of his face and we were done. It was pretty harsh.

Classy, I know.

About a year later, I got back in touch with him. I asked him out to dinner for the sole purpose of apologizing of how I handled that situation and for hurting him. I had forgiven myself for that a long time ago -- I knew it was the right thing But I was just getting closure for me. He could have continued to hate me, but he didn't. And my soul felt lighter.

Day 02: Something you love about yourself

This is a much easier post than yesterday's.

I love that I'm not afraid to do things by myself.

It hurts my heart when people say that they can't do things on their own. Whether it be going to the movies, or have a meal at a restaurant. I happen to find it liberating.

Maybe it's because I've spent more of my life single than in a couple. Maybe because I tend to tire of people (see Day 1). But I have never let being on my own stop me from going out and explore what the world has to offer.

I especially like traveling by myself. I've toured through Europe, sailed among the ABC islands, and have taken countless road trips. I love the freedom it brings. I can do what I want, when I want. I decide when to explore and when to sit and rest. I can make friends and share memories or I can people-watch in solitude.

The best part of it all are the adventures that I have. Each wrong turn, each car breakdown, each mishap turns into a story that makes the reunion with my friends and family that much more entertaining.

I can't wait for someone to decide they want to join me. When there's something I want to see, some destination I want to visit, I go. If I was waiting for someone else, chances are I'd be waiting a long time.

And I don't want to waste my time.

Day 01: Something you hate about yourself.

Is it arrogant to say that there isn't a whole lot that I hate about myself?

I mean there are things I don't like, the number on the scale, the split ends of my hair, that one zit that keeps coming back... But hate?

I don't like how when I tire of something, even if only for a little while, I tend to shut it out. This can be for anything: a task at work that I need to do, the dishes in my sink, or even sometimes with friendships.

Hmm... let me explore that friendship thing more.

I don't think I have ever had a problem being by myself. Not really a loner, but I didn't feel that I needed to be entertained by someone all the time. Even now, I genuinely enjoy the time that I have alone, but I also enjoy time spent with friends.

But sometimes I just don't have anything so say. I don't want to make small talk about your dog, your kids, the last movie you saw or what you had for dinner. Sometimes I'm content to just sit in silence, reading my book or walking my dog. Instead of saying "I just need some alone time", I'll just shut down, turn uninterested and be quiet.

And it really has nothing to do with the other person. Not usually. But sometimes my aloofness just comes across wrong and the friendship begins to stagnate. Its happened a few times.

Then there are friends who get it, who get me. Who understand that you don't need to be in each others lives every second, every day, recounting the events of the moment. When that text, or email, phone call or visit happens, it's because I genuinely want to catch up and be a part of your life again. Not because its from a sense of obligation.

I don't really like that sometimes my sense of independence shuts me out of some people's lives. But given the alternative, that there's some need to be paid attention to all the time, I'll take what I got.