Labor Day Weekend

I had a great Labor Day weekend here in Raleigh. It was full of activities that made me appreciate all that I have around me.

Friday was First Friday in Raleigh. It's an art celebration on the first Friday of each month. I love it because not only to art galleries participate, but local businesses turn into galleries as well to showcase local artists as well as their products. I picked up a cute necklace and wore it proudly the rest of the evening.

Among the cobblestone streets of Moore Square you can also find musical artists to entertain you. This band had the crowd dancing in the streets, myself included.



Saturday afternoon I joined a MeetUp group to go horseback riding at Dead Broke Farm in northwest Raleigh. There was a group of 12 people, some who hadn't rode a horse in 15 years (like me) and others who never rode a horse at all.

It was a slow trail ride. Quite boring actually, with all the stopping and starting. I was getting annoyed by two newbies who had no idea what they were doing. One woman kept screaming practically every time her horse moved. She sucked. Then this other guy -- this very large man on an equally large horse -- tried to reason with his horse when it wandered into the woods. "Why must you go into the woods?" I thought that if he actually held the reigns and steered his horse he'd get better results.

My horse, Keeper was a sweetie. Except that he/she (?) kept turning its head to nibble on my foot. I wasn't sure if it liked me or hated me.

There were a few cool people in the group. Afterward we went to a local bar for some beers and burgers. A good way to end off the afternoon.

Sunday was mainly spent running errands, but I hung out with new friends that night. We ate pitas and hummus and drank wine on the deck in Durham while we watched the dogs run around. I did not bring Barry. He's kind of an ass and I wasn't in the mood to babysit my dog.

Monday was the best day of all. The weather was gorgeous. Just right for a baseball game. Since I came to North Carolina, I knew I had to go see a Durham Bulls game. Bull Durham is one of my favorite movies and I needed to go and pay homage.

The ballpark was beautiful and my seats were right behind first base, a few levels up. It was a long game -- about 3 hours. But the Bulls finally won 6-5 in the 12th inning.

A great end to a great day to an even greater weekend.

My new place

It has been two weeks since my fairy tale ended and I moved into my new apartment.

I swear to God, I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm not sad, and I'm not even angry anymore at Charles. Honestly, I feel a lot of...nothing. I may have come to North Carolina for Charles, but I'm staying for me.

Image by bearclau via FlickrMy apartment is slowly coming together. I finally get to make the place I'm living in my own. That was one of the problems with moving into Charles' house. It was still very much his and there wasn't a lot of 'me' represented. It wasn't until my last week there that I actually got a space carved out for me, which was my own desk and bookshelf. That's now with me.

The first thing I got was this fun and bright shower curtain and matching yellow and green towels. This just screams FUN to me and it makes me smile every time I come into my bathroom. (My bathroom, by the way. One that I don't have to share with people who don't believe in hanging up towels after a shower.)

Image by bearclau via FlickrMy kitchen is much smaller than my townhouse and storage is limited. So I guess it's a good thing that I got rid of most of my stuff before I moved down here. (insert sarcasm). However, for reasons I can't explain, my 6 foot surfboard, that I never use, has traveled with me since I first moved out of my parents' house when I was 25 years old.

That surfboard now has a new home above my kitchen cabinets. I like it.

Let's not forget the pool! AND I have a gym -- which I actually go to.
Yes, life definitely does not suck.

Souviners

I'm back from my roadtrip to Florida. I have had the most amazing time and I will need time to write it up.

But the most incredible time was my evening in Key West. I picked up a little something while I was there.

That turned into an unplanned stop in Raleigh, NC.

Good times, indeed!

Stupid insightful quotes

If you want to know what we think is important, look at how we spend our time. If you want to know what we value, look at how we spend our money. If you want to know what we believe, look at how we live.

Hmm... if this is the case then I must think the mundane lives of others is important, take-out food is something I value and solitude is what I believe.

That sucks. Time for a change in 2010!

A Little Tenderness

Where are the guys who will go to any lengths to be noticed by the one they love?

I <3 Duckie!

10 Reasons Why Being Alone Sucks

1. No one to talk to (that will answer you back). Dogs don't count.
2. I never get any pictures taken of me.
3. Single supplement fees when traveling.
4. When something cool/funny/sad/scary happens, there's no one to share it with.
5. Beds always seem much too large.
6. Can't reach that itch in the middle of my back.
7. I can have shit stuck in my teeth / fly unzipped and no one to warn me.
   
8. If I fall and can't get up, who'll get help? I'm too young for LifeAlert.
9. Having to kill my own bugs.
10. No one else's dessert to take a bite of to sample.
    

Man of the house

I'm getting quotes for a patio install. I've been in my place 5 years and I think its about time to get rid of the scraggly grass and have a nice paved entertaining space. Thank God for Home Depot.

Today I got a call from the contractor's scheduler to arrange for an appointment. She took some initial information, like the dimensions of the patio, and gave me a ballpark estimate. $4500 - $4900. Yikes.

I humed and hawed for a second.

"Well, maybe you can talk it over with your husband?"

What. The. Fuck.

I hate it when people assume that I'm the 'little woman' who needs her big, strong husband to make all the decisions for me.

I didn't say anything. I let it go, because there's no use pissing off the people who you're trying to get to help you. But really, F her.

Explorer/Director

Your Major and Minor Personality Types

Characteristics of all four personality types can be found within each of us, but there is almost always one personality type that is dominant. We call this the major personality type.

The Chemistry Profile also identifies your minor or secondary personality type. You exhibit some aspects of this personality type, though not to the same degree as with your major type.

* Your major personality type = Explorer
* Your minor personality type = Director


You are an EXPLORER/director

You are a skywalker. You love adventure, both intellectual and physical. And you greet new challenges with passion and bravery.

When you get interested in a project, you can become extremely focused on it, sometimes to the exclusion of all around you. You complete it carefully and thoroughly, often with great originality.

And because you have a lot of energy and tend to be enthusiastic about your ideas, inventions, and projects, you can be very persuasive.

You tend to like to collect things, experiences or ideas. And you are eager to make an impact on those around you, as well as the wider world.

Although you enjoy people and can be charming and humorous, you are not very interested in routine social engagements or boring people. You are comfortable being by yourself, pursuing your own interests.

People probably call you a non-conformist, an original. You like to have good conversations on important topics. People tend to admire you for your innovativeness. You make an exciting, though at times distant, companion.

(Taken from the Chemistry dating site.)

I've got a little secret

I'm being intentionally vague.

I didn't expect to have an interest, but now that I do, I can't seem to ignore it.

At first it was...well, not really shocking or unexpected, but unintentional. The reconnection was comfortable and easy. Hours quickly passed before I realized that it was time to go. In one swift action, the balance shifted. After a few days of contemplating it, I realized that yes, this was something that I was curious to pursue.

The next time was even better than before. Again, there was an easy familiarity. Again the time passed too quickly. But unlike before, the end was not shocking, but sweetly anticipated.

The last time... didn't happen. Drama, miscommunication, unexpected visitors. The perfect storm to dampen an otherwise perfect day.

Patiently waiting, but I struggle. Patience is not one of my virtues. I'm about 'now' and 'dive in head first'. Time, distance and bits & bytes all seem to get in the way.

Dammit all to hell!

Photo by Rainbeaux

Single Rage

Have you ever been so infuriated that you wanted to straddle some guys neck just so you could pummel him in the face multiple times?

This weekend I was with my cousin at her boyfriend's house, hanging out at a family BBQ before we went off to see "The Dark Knight". I had met the family before at the Superbowl party. They were warm, welcoming and pretty cool so I had no insecurities about being there. I did notice that the boyfriend's brother paid extra attention to me. I could actually feel him looking at me. It was not a reciprocal feeling on my end.

We were sitting around the table eating when The Brother overhears me telling my cousin about my date the next day.

"You don't have a boyfriend? You're single?"

"Yup."

"Why? You're a nice looking girl."

"Um, I don't know. "

"Even been married before?"

"Nope."

"Really? What's wrong with you?!"

Oh. My. God. AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGME?

The rage begins with a fire in my chest quickly radiating out to my extremities actually causing my fists to flex. I quickly had to reel it in because I was a guest and I didn't want to embarrass my cousin.

This guy... this F'n GUY, is most likely someone who would give you the shirt off his back to help you. He's probably really sweet once you get to know him. He probably thought it was some sort of back-handed compliment or his perverse method of flirting. But I only met him once and on the surface, he mainly comes off as a jackass.

And really, fuck him! Divorced (I think) father of one who wouldn't be hurt by eating a salad once in a while. His love life isn't one for a Hollywood happy-ever-after story.

I had to coolly respond, "What makes you think that there's some problem with ME that I'm single?"

I think he saw how ferocious I was and the conversation was dropped. He also (wisely) decided to not go to the movies with us as originally planned.

So really? What's up with that question?

I've heard it often enough from distant aunts "you can't wait forever... what are you waiting for?...you're not getting any younger..." Each time it gets responded with a gritted smile and giggle but the rage is there. The last time I lost it and said "Well, I've never been married, therefore I've never been divorced and I consider that a pretty good thing," to my divorced aunt. Whatever. Screw her.

I don't necessarily like being single, but I'll take it any day over settling for some ho-hum guy just so I can say that I'm not alone. And I hate having to defend that to family and ass-clowns who think they're trying to be cute.

Today's Horoscope

You know, the universe doesn't always care if you're looking for romance or not. Some days (like today), you just get a big ol' dose of flirtatious energy. Consider yourself lucky to be blessed like this, and start using that energy! Smile at as many cuties as you can -- and maybe at some not-so-cuties, too! You're all about making other people feel good, which in turn will make you feel good, too. Blow kisses to grumpy-looking folks and watch their frown turn upside down.

What a very appropriate horoscope today as I HAVE A DATE! And while I am interested in getting to know the person I'm meeting, I'm just more excited to be back in circulation (so to speak) and to have the universe smiling on me today.

Wish me luck.

Girl Power

The evening of my crappy day at work, I decided to treat myself to dinner and a movie. A popcorn dinner, that is. I went to see Sex In The City. I needed some girly time.

There was about a dozen people in the theater, and the estrogen was overwhelming. I had my tiny bag of popcorn, my legs were comfortably propped on the seat in front of me and the lights dimmed. I was ready to put behind the problems of the day and be absorbed in the lives of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. I missed those girls.

I loved watching SATC on HBO. It was the only reason that I actually subscribed to it. When SATC aired its final episode, HBO was canceled. But what I loved about the show was the relationships between them. They were so open, so honest. They shared the good and the bad. With one phone call, they could join forces and solve any crisis or heartbreak with a cosmopolitan, Manolos or brunch. They had a friendship that I envied.

I have friends and cousins who I am close to. We share personal stories, confide deepest secrets, laugh over embarrassing moments, or just wonder what kind of lives we will lead. But what seems strange to me is that there isn't one person who I share all aspects of those topics. I don't have one best friend, but a network of friends who get different bits and pieces of who I am.

I wonder why is that? Is it me? Do I chose to spread myself out so as not to get so deep with one person? Maybe. I can go weeks or months without speaking to some of my friends and not think twice about it because when we do get back in contact it's as if no time had ever past. To me that's special. Like the friendship is strong enough to not have to coddle or babysit it along the way.

I spend a lot of time by myself and for the most part, I enjoy it. I can do what I want, when I want, without having to ask for permission or arranging schedules. But when I want company, its hard trying to find the right girlfriend to invite. One's either too cranky, or too pregnant, too Mommy, or too married, or just too far away.

Then there are some friends who I dearly miss, but whose life have taken such a different path from mine that there is hardly anything left to talk about.

As Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte all mended to Carrie's broken heart, I wondered who of my friends would be there for me in my time of crisis? How have I made myself available to them?

So now I'm curious. What are your friendships like? Do you have that one best friend? Do you have a network of girlfriends who can tell you that yes, those pants really do make your ass look fat? Or do you flitter around like a butterfly to random groups of people who knew you at different points of your life?

Leave me a comment.

thou shall not judge

I was about to respond to Viv when I read the post she pointed me to and read this:

Oh and when I went to the ticket counter and said “One for Sex and the City” the guy in the ticket booth said (fucking seriously, people) “Oh, I could see that coming a mile away”. Like…what-the-fuck, guy-selling-tickets? You’re judging me for seeing Sex and the City? You work in a box, dude.

That's why I always buy my tickets from the automated machine in the lobby.