Saturday, May 16, 2009

10 Reasons Why Being Alone Sucks

  1. No one to talk to (that will answer you back). Dogs don't count.
  2. I never get any pictures taken of me.
  3. Single supplement fees when traveling.
  4. When something cool/funny/sad/scary happens, there's no one to share it with.
  5. Beds always seem much too large.
  6. Can't reach that itch in the middle of my back.
  7. I can have shit stuck in my teeth / fly unzipped and no one to warn me.
  8. If I fall and can't get up, who'll get help? I'm too young for LifeAlert.
  9. Having to kill my own bugs.
  10. No one else's dessert to take a bite of to sample.


  1. Other than #5 (a bed can never be too big), I agree 200%. I would add that there's no one to do distateful jobs with so that it goes faster and benefits from 2 people. Like yard work or cleaning out the garage...hate doing that alone.

  2. Being married is completely overrated. I say that as a classically ignorant male who has never been married. Life is full of suffering and people suck at keeping it together today. So, statistically, marriage equals two angry adults and one and half dysfunctional kid(s).I am sure it is worth it if someone is willing to make the many sacrifices, but no one is anymore and they end up doing more damage as a result.

    Being along is underrated. You set your own agenda and script your own life. You can phase in and out of other peoples reality at will. Your identity remains your own. If you want to turn a light on or off, a stereo up or down, leave the bedroom a wreck or keep your entire home spotless, it is all up to you and doesn't become a debate over values or preferences with someone else.

    I am convinced that more marriages fail because someone either snaps at someone for 5 years to "turn off the damn light!" or because "that sucker always leaves the light on when I want to go to sleep." The death of a marriage is found in the pile of many little things that as a single person, we don't need to even think about.

    So, tonight, stay up late or go to bed early, play music loudly or sit and read quietly, dance in your livingroom or lay down in the middle of the floor in your underwear. It is entirely up to you, because you are a superhero and your power is "single."

  3. totally. Add to your list not being able to get anyone to lift your heavy window A/C and install it properly.

    There are way more than 10 reasons why being alone sucks. :(