Dolphin smiles

I have a tattoo. Its of a dolphin.

I got it in college for two reasons. First is that my big sister has a dolphin tattoo and her big sister has a dolphin tattoo. (My little sister's little sister has one, too.) But I wasn't just being a follower.

The second reason that I got a dolphin tattoo is that I actually like dolphins.

In school, I took up the mantra, "live like a dolphin and always wear a smile." I think it worked because I had a pretty good and pretty positive college experience.

I think its time for me to bring that mantra back. As part of this happiness project, I need to remind myself that smiles are contagious. And even though I can be thinking I want to pummel you in the head with my bare fists, if I just smile at you, the fury may just subside.

Double blue and gold

I am a sorority girl. An unrefined, unapologetic, proud, involved sorority girl. I think that is what saved me when I found myself lost and alone in North Carolina.

I have always said that everything I learned to make it in the real world I learned from being in a sorority. And not just being in one, where you might imagine consisted of parading around campus in letters, flash mobbing a fraternity party or yelling like silly girls every time 'our song' came on the bar jukebox. (Well, I did that.) I also was a leader in one. Still am. As an undergrad, I was chapter president and house manager. I had a job to do and I had to do it well in order for my chapter to be successful.

So almost twenty years after my initiation, when I have to deal with a tense situation, or manage different projects, introduce myself to a group of strangers or turn a basement into a classy party area, I don't turn to what I learned in Accounting 101 or my Ethics in Media class. I turn to what I learned from being a sorority girl.

Fast forward 8 months since I became a North Carolinian and I find myself sitting on a couch with sisters, who had previously not known each other, sipping wine, sharing stories and curled up in our comfy clothes watching The Bachelor on a Monday night. And its as if I'm 19 years old again, hanging with my sisters in the lounge of my chapter house.


What is it about being in the company of like-minded women who can make you feel so good about yourself? We come from different backgrounds, but because of our sorority, we know that there are some basic principles that bind us together. And they're also some pretty kick-ass women, too.

I am very fortunate to have signed my bid 19 years ago. And to be exactly where I am right now.

Day 03: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Something I have to forgive myself for?

This is a hard one because I either already forgave myself for stuff, or I don't feel like I did anything wrong where I need forgiveness.

Not to say that I'm without fault. I've got plenty. But you can paralyze yourself with things that are wrong with you, or you can say 'to hell with it' and live with it.

As a personal rule, I try not to deliberately cause others pain, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I remember right after I graduated from college I broke up with my boyfriend of 3+ years. We had our differences: I graduated after 4 years of college, he didn't. I was president of my sorority, his great aspiration was to earn the 'silver keg' award in his fraternity. I went to class and made Dean's List my senior year. He skipped class to sleep off hangovers.

So when I was faced with the thought that I might spend the rest of my life with this person, I said hell no!

I broke up with him sitting on the swing sets in a park. I told him I loved him, but I was sick of his face and we were done. It was pretty harsh.

Classy, I know.

About a year later, I got back in touch with him. I asked him out to dinner for the sole purpose of apologizing of how I handled that situation and for hurting him. I had forgiven myself for that a long time ago -- I knew it was the right thing But I was just getting closure for me. He could have continued to hate me, but he didn't. And my soul felt lighter.

In other news...

I spent this last semester as the alumnae Chapter Advisor for my sorority, Alpha Xi Delta at my alma mater, Rider University.

I have had a really amazing time getting to know the women of my chapter and helping them succeed on campus as a chapter and as individuals. Not all the interactions have been wonderful, but they all had learning opportunities for both me and the women. When I was an undergrad, the experience being in a sorority is the reason I am the person I am today. It had always been my desire to give something back to the chapter who had given me so much.

I have seen the women of Alpha Xi Delta do amazing things. Just last week they performed at the Greek Week Lip Synch contest.



However tonight at the Greek Awards Banquet, they really rose to the top.

They won the following:

• Highest New Member Cumulative GPA and Highest Overall Female GPA
• Intramural Member of the Year
• Highest Sorority Cumulative GPA

and the top award:
Bart Luedeke Outstanding Chapter of the Year Award

Oh, and I didn't do too bad myself. The chapter nominated for Chapter Advisor of the Year and I won! I am so humbled and so proud of my chapter. *mush*

High School Reunion

I love how Facebook has been bringing people together. Saturday, all because of our reconnections on Facebook, many of my classmates from high school got together to meet up. Many after 18 years.

It was great to see everyone. At first I was worried that I wouldn't be able to recognize who came in the room, especially those who I really didn't hang out with, but it was easy. People really haven't changed and it was pretty comforting.

The best part was the ease in which we all talked with each other. None of the 'clique-y' barriers that existed in school were there anymore. Everyone was amazing, everyone was beautiful, everyone had their own story to tell. There were some moments of 'remember when' but mostly we talked about our new lives, our successes, and (in some cases) children.

It wasn't until that reunion that I fully realized the wealth I had growing up with these people. We all 'stayed real' and didn't put on any illusions of grandeur. We had the support in our lives to achieve whatever we wanted to, but were also kept grounded by our roots -- and from what I saw, no one seemed to loose sight of where we came from.

Colonia High School Class of 1991. You rock!

(Rest of photos)

Be the change

As I go through my morning ritual of reading email, horoscope, twitter feeds and e-learning blogs, I came across the T+D Blog and this particular article.

Although unemployment is at an all-time high, you should not assume that employees "should be just happy to have a job." They need a purpose, a reason to work and they need to feel like the work that they are doing is meaningful and valuable to the company.

This is exactly how I feel right now. I don't feel that it's good enough to just have a job. I don't want a job, I want a career. I want to be proud of the work that I do. I want to be able to show it off and say "Look what I can do!", I want to hang my gold star on my refrigerator to show my dog.

I wish I could anonymously send a link to this article to the top dogs of my company. But I don't think it would change anything, and really, I'm not interested in change here anymore. I'm more interested about the change in me and what I care about.

I will be finishing my Masters degree in Education in a few weeks. I say that as if it's going to magically happen, but the reality is that I still have a lot of work to do on my final project. I'm using that milestone as the catalyst to start looking for another job. Time to move out of Project Management and on to Instructional Design. For the first time in my life, I will actually take a job in the field that I went to school for.

Spreading myself too thin?

I wasn't really aware of how much a nerd I am until now.

I am currently enrolled in an online university to get my Masters in Eduction, focusing on Instructional Design for Online Learning. I have 12 credits until completion. In two weeks, I will start a Train the Trainer certificate program at my local community college. And I just enrolled (for audit) in an online course on Connectivism and Connective Knowledge just for the curiosity of it.

What's strange is that no one is making me do this. I have no real reason for perusing all this other than the desire to know stuff. For the past 2.5 years, the stuff I want to know is all about education and instructional design. Who know, maybe in another 2.5 years, I'll want to know more about the mating rituals of Peruvian cockroaches. But today, it's about education.

I'll keep you posted as to what happens.

80's Flashback

In preparation for tomorrow's Poison concert, here's a picture of me when I sang Dokken's "In My Dreams" during my 8th grade talent show in 1987.

You gotta love the feathered hair and fringe jeans.

Sorority Fag

You know sometimes how listening to a song can automatically transport you back to a specific time or place in your past? Well, this morning on the way to work I heard a song that brought me back to my sorority days. "Build Me Up Buttercup" by The Foundations.

I was a complete sorority fag. Each semester as part of Rush, we would make up songs to cheer as the Rushees came to visit our chapter house. The more fun and the more catchy the songs were, the better they were. I made up a song for to the tune of "Buttercup". Sing along with me please...

Why don't you come and see Alpha Xi, baby
Its the place for you, with a love so true
And best of all, we'll be around baby
If you ask us to, we'll stand by you
We want you, we want you
More than anyone, darlin'
You know that we have from the start.
So come and be, an Alpha Xi
Don't break our hearts.

This was a hit. I sang it so much that even now, I can't sing the real words to the song.

But my Rush song legacy was one I wrote to the tune of the "Always Coca-Cola" song. I taught this to chapters all over the Eastern states during a chapter president's conference one year.


The stars will always shine, the birds will always sing
With Alpha Xi Delta you're always the real thing
A sisterhood so true, we're all number one
As long as there is love, there's Alpha Xi Delta
Doo doo doo doo doo, We're Alpha Xi Delta

You can thank me later for putting these songs in your head.

On race

Classes have started up again and even though it's only been one week, I am surprised how interesting I think this class will be.

The Historical and Societal Foundations of Education course "explores the ways in which educational institutions, policies, and practices have emerged and developed, particularly in relation to changing social conditions and expectations". I'm sure I'll have more posts about the course and ideas that come out of it, but today I want to share an article that was mentioned in one of the class discussions.

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh is a thought provoking piece that asks the question "what is it like to have white privilege"?

I have come to see white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets that I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was "meant" to remain oblivious. White privilege is like an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, maps, passports, codebooks, visas, clothes, tools , and blank checks.

What I found most provoking are McIntosh's list of 50 Daily Effects of White Privilege. It made me question my own identity.

I look, act and live white. But I am Latina, a 100% Puerto Rican. I may not be as dark skinned as my relatives and I might not speak Spanish, but I have Taino blood running though my veins. I have Boriqua pride: you better not mistake me for Dominican or Mexican! And I'm not an immigrant, dammit. We're Americans.

I've taken advantage of my ancestry when necessary, such as the full-tuition minority scholarship that got me through college. I also mark myself off as Hispanic on demographic questionnaires that also ask about my gender, income and education level -- more as a big Screw You to anyone who might want to otherwise think down at me solely because I'm a "minority".

But when it comes to everyday living, I can identify with each of those 50 conditions. And it made me feel sad and a little guilty, although guilty for what I don't really know.

Growing up, I don't think I was brought up to think any certain way about race. I don't remember specific beliefs or attitudes that I inherited from my family. I knew I was Puerto Rican because we would go there to see my grandparents and cousins often enough and I loved the rice and beans that my mom made, but I made no attempt to have that identifier tagged to me as a kid. I wanted to fit in as much as anyone else so I identified more with Madonna than Jennifer Lopez.

Today I try to judge others by their character, not by their skin. I try to look beyond stereotypes and see the person for who they are. I try not to tolerate injustices to anyone based on race, gender, religion, etc. But I realize that I have had advantages that other members of my extended family might not have simply because I'm not as tan and don't speak with an accent.

So now with this realization, what do I do with it? What can I do with it? I don't have a clue yet.