Thursday, November 25, 2004

Thanksgiving 2004

Ladies and gents, it’s that time of year again where we take a look around at the ‘To-Do List’ that never ends, the shopping that looms ahead of us, the extra pounds that we never got to lose, and we have to take a deep breath to keep from going insane. But before you put on that straight-jacket, I want to remind you that the start of the holiday season brings so much more.

It allows you to reflect on the months that have passed by – to quickly for most of us. There have been changes, great and small, that have altered us forever: it could have been a change in job or address, becoming part of a couple or becoming independent, an addition to a family or a loss of a loved one, or something as little as a kind gesture offered by a stranger that made your day a little brighter.

In a time with much uncertainty – uncertainty in our government, in our leaders of faith, and in the way American Idol’s votes were collected – there is one thing that I am certain of: each day has been made special with the thought of you.

So as the holiday stress starts to beats upon you, close your eyes (please don’t do it while driving), take a breath and remember that it’s all small potatos. As long as you live and breathe, have friends and family that think about you, have someplace warm to go to at night and a full tummy (but not too full), then you have all that you really need.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Much love and laughter to last through the year – and spill into the next. Thank you for being a part of my life and for making me into the person that I am today. And if you don’t like me, well then that’s your own fault then, isn’t it?


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Eye can see you

This past weekend I had a burst of energy to devote to making home improvements - in particular, to my bedroom. I have a 2 story bedroom with a really cool loft. I bought a bamboo-ish ceiling fan that went perfect with the 'tropical theme' I have going on.

I had spent all Saturday morning in my pajamas figuring out how to properly install a ceiling fan. I actually read the directions!

About 5 hours later, including a lunch break, I had a functioning fan and light fixture. I was so proud of myself. I felt like Bob Vila. I celebrated by lounging around the house for the rest of the day, watching movies, sliding around the wood floors in my socks and dancing around like a maniac with myself. It was quite enjoyable and I encourage you to do the same.

Around 9 pm as I was laying in bed watching tv, I got this excruciating pain in my left eye.


I wanted to scream, and cry, and pull out my eyeball and dip it in cold milk. I did 2 out of the 3.
I tried eye drops. I cupped water in my hand and looked at my palm underwater. Nothing helped. It feld as if I had shards of glass imbedded in my eyelid and was skatingback and forth across my eyeball. I wouldn't have been suprised if I stared crying blood.

I had to go to the hospital.

For a brief moment I thought about driving myself there, but then I had another searing pain tear across my eyeball causing me to double over in pain, both eyes shut and tearing; and I thought otherwise.

By 10 pm I had no choice to call my mom."Mom, I need your help. I need a ride to the emergency room."

I'm sure that's what every mother wants to hear from their children.

Mom lives about 30 miles away, but every minute that I had to wait seemed like an eternity. It was raining and although I was hoping that she would be careful, I wanted her to hurry the fuck up!

Finally she showed up close to 11, and I came out with a tissue pressed to my eye. I think that once she saw me alive, she calmed down a bit.

I have always had problems with my eyes. I have a lazy eye, I'm talking drops to fend off glaucoma, so anything that threatens the health of my eyes is a very big deal.

The emergency room was pretty active. There was one woman next to me who broke her finger, another guy who just couldn't stop itching, and there was Tommy. 'Tommy Hilfiger' as he was affectionately called was an older man who appeard to be mentaly-deficient. He had taken the 'choo-choo train' from Manhatten to New Brunswick just to see Rudy. Rudy was the only one who could treat Tommy's leg.

Tommy made himself at home in the ER, walking around, talking to the nurses, telling everyone about his leg and how he needed to see Rudy.

Rudy. Rudy. Rudy.

That, and that he needed to be done to make the 1 am train back to NYC, and $8 for the ride.

While I was waiting, they asked me to try and read the eye chart - with my F'd up eye.

"Are you serious??" I could hardly keep my eye open, let alone try and read stupid letters from 20 feet away. It made it past 2 lines before wanting to gouge my eye out with a hot poker.

I finally got to see the doctor and it turned out that whatever I had in my eye was washed out, but it did wind up scratching the shit out of my cornea. It was the scratches that was causing so much pain. Off I went home, in the rain, with my sample bottle of antibiotic eye drops.

Mom took me back home and reluctantly left me there. She wanted me to come home with her and spend the day there to be taken care of, but I declined. There was nothing that I could do there that I couldnt' do at home.

But Mom is the greatest. It's good to know that I can call and she'll still come running in the rain.

Friday, November 19, 2004


I'm worth $2,151,818.78!

How much are you worth?

it's all Beth's fault

I blame Beth.

It's the day before she's set to go on vacation for 2 weeks. She was restless in the office - and me, well I hardly need a reason to be distracted. She wanted to get out of the office for a bit and I happily obliged. Off to Kohl's we go!

I went in specifically to look. I didn't need anything - except maybe a fun new scarf/belt, or a girly flower pin; I have been feeling very feminine lately.

Well, I found several of the scarves that I wanted and a pretty perl/ribbon belt that I thought would be pretty for the holidays.

Mmmm, the holidays. The quinticential reason for shopping. For me. Shopping for me.

I saw the cutest snowmen bathroom towel set. It would be perfect in my powder room - once I get the new faucet hardware, new light fixtures and new towel bar. And I had to get the snowmen kitchen towel, snowmen tablecloth and snowmen floormat, you know, to carry out the theme.

And wouldn't you know it, Halloween things were 70% off!! So I wound up getting a pumpkin door decoration, a ghost candle, halloween tablecloth and a punpkin kitchen towel.

It's my mission to make my home feel happy and festive year 'round. So what says fun more than snowmen and pumpkins??

I blame it all on Beth.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

the further Right you go, the dumber you get

I don't know when it happened, but I've become passionate about my views on politics and I get really annoyed when other people display sheer apathy or stupidity.

The other day I was at a scrapbook party hosted by my cousin's friend, L. I noticed a picture of Bush on the fridge and I immediately snarled my lip. The topic turned towards politics and although me and another person were Democrats, we didn't really get into it out of politeness.

But sometimes the things people say really kills me.

L: "...besides, I can't stand Kerry's wife. All that money and she can't even do something with her hair. At least Laura Bush looks presendital."

I must have had this dumbfounded look on my face.

L: "Do you not agree?"

me: "I just never included the wives as part of my decision making."

Are you F'n kidding me??

Monday, November 15, 2004

a family affair

I took off last Friday and spent some quality with Mom, Dad and The House. Dad and I met at the Home Depot where my brother works to pick up all the wood to finish off the floor molding. We spent about 2 hours punching numbers into my cell phone calculator trying to figure out how many lengths of 9' wood we'd need. We are NOT math wizards.

When Dad and I finally got to my house, we ate lunch - because you can't work on an empty stomach. It was about 2:00 when we cut our first piece of wood on the table saw.

Mom popped in, ate a snack and then disappeared upstairs with a paint brush to finish painting all the trim up the stairs, in the hallway and in the guest bedroom. When Mom gets to work, there is nothing that will stop her.

The evening ended with most of the molding installed, the upstairs painted, the sawdust swept up and with us eating pizza and watching tv.

I could think of no better way to spend a Friday.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

not enough time

It always happens around this time of year. I start to feel extremely rushed and that there's not enough time until the end of the year. As if December 31 holds some sort of looming deadline.

Oh my God! I haven't finished the floors off in my house! I haven't changed the look of my blog for over a year! I didn't buy a dvd burner yet and my videos are getting stale on my hard drive! I didn't call my girlfriend from high school to plan a dinner get together! I haven't even started Christmas shopping yet!

It's wierd because the rest of the year I have this 'I'll do it tomorrow' attitude. But as soon as we turn the clocks back, suddenly there's not enough time in the world to do all the things I want to do - meaningful or not. And in this overwhelmingness, my first reaction is to sink in defeat and say I'll never be able to do it. And that whole process leaves me feeling exhausted and drained before I even do a thing.

Is there a name for that??

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

roller coaster

On the relationship roller coaster, Jim and I have had our ups and downs. For a little while we were on the way up to the highest part of the ride.

click, click, click....

But now it seems that our coaster cars have split in half and mine is racing down the hill, full speed with my hands over my head and me laughing at the top of my lungs.

Jim, on the other hand, his car is taking another track, twisting and turning, spinning upside down, getting him dizzy and lost and he's not enjoying the trip.

I wonder if our tracks will meet up again at the end of the ride?