Today's Horoscope

The hottest thing in your life right now sure isn't the weather, and it's not your love life. No, all the heat's being generated from the fresh ideas brimming from your head! So grab some paper, pens, crayons, a video camera -- whatever you feel like using to dig out your ideas. Songs, poems, stories, even silly 'to do' lists are all valid forms of expression right now. Unearthing what's deep inside of you is your biggest challenge today.

Damn right, its definitely not my love life. But, really, that's ok. My head is full of creative stuff. Too much it feels like. I'm about to explode.

Today's Horoscope

This day will be very placid -- with no noticeable highs or lows. But while there will be no major excitement (good or bad) today, you will find it hard to shake the feeling that things are about to change in a major way. As usual, your instincts are absolutely correct. Today is like the calm before the storm, so batten down the hatches and lay in some supplies. Very soon, there's gonna be a major shake-up!

My horoscope has been right today so far. Absolutely nothing going on. At work, at home. I wonder what this shake up is going to be about. I could use some excitement right about now.

Today's Horoscope

Sorting will be a rewarding, energizing activity for you today. So seek out a confusing set of materials or information and get to work! You'll get a big boost out of making sense of a situation that would only confuse most other people. Looking at the big picture and finding the areas you want to explore and the areas you want to avoid will be easy for you, so why not offer your services to a confused friend, relative or coworker? He or she will be mighty grateful! 

Oh, it's been a while since I posted here. But I've been busy. A few weeks ago I attended my sorority's National Convention where I was asked to present as a keynote speaker about technology; specifically how technology and social media can be used to market us to a broader audience.

If you want to read all about it, check out my other blog.

Work has started to pick up as well. And that's why today's horoscope is especially relevant. My latest project is to develop training for new users of a complex order validation tool. I had a call with a few experts of the tools and process and I was quickly overwhelmed. They were jumping around from topic to topic, moving quickly through tools and I was trying to keep up. But I had to keep asking, "wait, what does that mean? How did you get there?"

As an instructional designer, I often describe my work as translator. I have to translate the wealth of information, sometimes useless garbage, into something that will be useful to a newbie. I have to wade through the 'nice to know' and cull it down to the 'need to know'. This isn't always an easy concept to sell when the experts believe that everything they say is must know information.

But that's like trying to brush your teeth with a fire hose. Too much, too soon.

However it's a challenge and I like challenges. Bring it on.

Today's Horoscope

It's admirable that you're so willing to work with others to get things done -- your teamwork ethic is to be applauded. However, today you realize that if you want something, you might need to elbow your way to the front of the line to get it. It's not about putting yourself ahead of others -- it's about knowing when to grab control and make things happen. No one is going to seek you out and hand things to you on a silver platter (even though you deserve it). Work for what you want. 

Its interesting that this is my horoscope today. Because I'm still feeling lie there's something I need to do, to get started, and that there's something or someone that's holding me back from my full potential. 

It's a little discouraging.

Today's Horoscope

Don't cave into temptation, even if it's an old flame. You're all about safety for now, so keep your feelings to yourself. Ancient emotions might bring you back to a toxic relationship. You're apart for a reason!

Duuuude. Spooky.

The end

I thought we were on our way to being friends. Friends with potential.

Him: So how do you like being friends?
Me: I like it.
Him: I have a question, as we are being friends, if someone asks you out on a date, what would you do?
Me: We're on the same thought pattern. I have no interest in dating anyone else.

Dating. That's what I said. That's what I presumed that this was something Charles and I were doing.

Now, how do you define that term? Because I don't think that my definition was matching what his was. To me, when you're dating, you arrange a time to be together. To share a common interest, moment, activity or just share the same space with the goal of learning more about each other. To decide if dating will lead to something further.

I don't think I understood what his definition was. He told me he was cautious with me and wasn't sure what my intentions were for contacting me again.

So these last two weeks were interesting. We had been apart longer than we had even known each other. And in that time I had built the life I was wanting: friends, activity, involvement in something that I believe in. I always believed that I couldn't really give love to someone else until I was truly happy with myself. I thought that my lack of assuredness of what role I was to play in my own life when I first moved here attributed to the deterioration of my relationship with Charles. That, among other things.

So here I am now. Excited because I found my place and I was ready to share that excitement with someone. I wasn't looking to have someone to complete me, but to compliment me.

I don't think Charles was that excited about my new life and time I placed on maintaining my friendships and involvement in things that were important to me. In the two weeks that we had been in contact, I had a massage appointment, a overnight sorority training conference in Charlotte, a Bon Jovi concert (that I invited Charles to), and 2 nights with friends for dinner. These are things that I had planned before Charles came into the picture.

Thursday afternoon I was out with Charles on a quick shopping trip. I was driving because he said he had a headache. I had dinner plans with friends that night and he had a meeting so I knew we only had a few hours before we had other things to do. We had planned for him to come over after his meeting and after my dinner. But by the time our shopping trip was over, he was coming on with a full-grain migraine and went home to lay on the couch. He might skip his meeting because he wasn't feeling well. I told him that if he wasn't feeling well he didn't have to come over. I didn't want him to be bothered by the dog or by me annoying him. So I got him a blanket, kissed him goodbye and left.

He sent me a text at 6:00:

I'm going to turn off the cell for peace. No worries. Talk with you tomorrow. Have fun with your friends. 'night.

At 6:30, I get this:

I don't think you and I are on the same page with a relationship. We should be email or text friends.

Um. Huh?

Which then launched this text conversation/rant...

I'm horrible and cold because I left him without caring how he felt just so I could go and have fun. Nevermind that he never actually told me that he wanted me to stay there. Because I had left my mind-reading hat at home.

The text conversation continued into Friday. Even though I told him that texting was silly, could he just pick up the phone when I called or let me come over. I asked how he was feeling, if there was anything I could do, if he wanted company. No.

So at 6:30 again, I get a text.

What are you doing?

I was actually just running out to sign up for a town softball league. I had learned about it at dinner with friends and I was so excited! I was just going to sign the roster, pay my dues and leave.

That started it all over again. (over text)

His claim that in this time I had put stuff before him. With him, he would make himself available to show that he cared but with all the stuff I was doing, it was obvious to him that I just didn't care enough about him. So I can just go and do what makes me happy and play my silly games and he can go back to being with his real friends.

Me: This is silly and unfair. I have made friends and a place for myself here. I would like to share that with you. I'm not playing games with you. I want to bring you into my life, not have you be the reason for living.

Caring about you and wanting to be with you does not have to be at the expense of having friends and doing things that I enjoy.

I said, "let's date. Let's take it slow." Not, "let's spend 24/7 together." I guess we weren't communicating again.

And you know what? I'm not sad, or angry. I see now that staying with him 6 months ago would not have changed anything. We would have still wound up at the same place. And now I know that what he's looking for is not what I have to offer. And I'm ok with that.

I'm not apologizing for the life I want to lead, and that may be part of whatever issue he has with me. But does that mean that I'm sabotaging myself?

When I'm at a loss I turn to horoscopes. I'm a Gemini.

Gemini changes her partners the way she changes moods. She's looking for love, but not at the expense of freedom. She believes that somewhere in this world there's a man who's her intellectual equal, capable of responding to her bewildering changes of mood and prepared to let her live her own life. Not surprisingly, she seldom locates him...nothing quite matters quite so much to single Gemini as her precious freedom to do and think as she pleases.

Then I looked at the compatibility guide with Scorpio.

Though you are very drawn to each other, this could be a very dangerous and destructive union. You are likely to bring out the negative side in each other''s nature. Sexually, you'll be immediately attracted to a Scorpio man and he be attracted to you...He won't have much use for your escapism or dreaming. He will always be bringing you down to earth with a bump...He does like his comforts though and in marriage, he may desire a woman who is prepared to stay in the background and look after him...If you can take the rough with the smooth, you could survive together. One thing is certain, you won't have much time for your own interests. It's unlikely you'll be able to continue with your career if you marry him. So if freedom is important to you, beware of settling down with a Scorpio.

Wow.

But I'm not writing this just to give the story of Charles and I an ending. I'm writing to get some objective feedback. Am I missing something here? Have I been so involved in me that I'm ignoring something obvious?

Please tell me your thoughts. I need an outside perspective.

Today's Horoscope

Follow-through isn't just for golf. But you knew that already, at least when it comes to work. You might find that follow-through makes all the difference in love too. There's certainly not a whole lot of resistance on their part (they might even be downright into you). So make sure to let them know you're still interested, and you could see a whole lot change. You might not even need to say anything -- sometimes you'll find that a single, powerful stroke is the best follow-through out there.

One week. Well, six months and one week. That's what it took to be able to see what this friendship/relationship with Charles could actually be. Its a good start.

"Friends with benefits? That's not what I want."

"Me neither," I replied. "That would just cheapen everything we had together before that was good. But I prefer friends with potential."

I borrowed that line from Say Anything, one of my all-time favorite movies.


I received a comment from a very dear friend (hey, Steve!) that maybe this story isn't just mine to tell, and I think he's right. So I'll end the details here.

But know that my eyes are more open and I'm still as stubborn as ever. You can take the girl out of Jersey, but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl.

Today's Horoscope

Have you thought about becoming some sort of advisor or mentor to someone? If you haven't, you should -- and today would be a good day to investigate how to get involved in something like that. It could be as formal as a teaching position or as informal as just showing a friend how to do something in their home. What's important here is that you spend some time sharing a skill or talent of yours with someone else -- it's a great way to connect with the rest of the people you see every day.

This is a very fitting horoscope, especially as I'm already an advisor to members and alumnae advisors for my sorority, Alpha Xi Delta.

Yeay.

Today's Horoscope

If you've been struggling with a relationship for a little while now, today could be a turning point. It's hard to say why something shifts between two people, but one of those tension-easing changes is poised to take place. Take a deep breath and you might even notice that the difference isn't so much in them, or in your duo's dynamic; it's more like a shift is taking place within you. So go ahead and try again with this person. You'll both be glad you did.

This comes at an interesting time. I've been thinking about Charles lately. Not that I want him back, or that I'm so angry at him, or any real heavy emotion at all. I was thinking more about the intensity we had and the fun and excitement we shared. It's that I missed. Not longingly, but just the thought of it made me smile.

So yesterday I sent him an email. Just to let him know that I don't have any ill-feelings toward him, and to thank him for bringing me out here because I really do like it here. And finally that I hoped he was doing well.

I think I sent it more for me. Sending that forgiveness out there made me feel better.

I think it's strange how quickly things, emotions can change. I don't know what shifted in him to make him want to leave me. But I knew the moment I stopped loving him -- the moment I drove out of the driveway for the last time.

Today's Horoscope

Take time for yourself by putting your life on hold. Walk around the park, stare at the sky and otherwise refresh your senses with the parts of life that really matter. Sunshine and open space are vital for you now. The peace can help you ponder everything that's going on in your life. Once you feel centered, you're better able to take on the challenges that come later.

Timely advice right now. I feel like I've been engrossed in a world of cooking, cleaning, and working. I'm beginning to wonder who this person is whose skin I'm living in.

The fairy tale has been bombarded with real-life: kids and bills. It takes some adjusting and sometimes its hard to keep up.

But at least I know that my Prince Charming is right here with me.

Today's Horoscope

If you can't get enough, don't worry -- it looks like your supply is unlimited! In fact, with such huge piles of fun and thrills available, you ought to put out a general notice to your people to come on out and join in. No one can get a party going quite like you, and right now, that talent is cranked up to eleven by your hard-partying energy. Get the word out by any means necessary.

I am so happy about this horoscope. This weekend my college friend Kristen and her whole family will be coming to visit me in NC. She is in the middle of a crazy international road trip (they crossed over into Canada) and will be stopping in Raleigh on their way back home to Houston.

Kristen, with her husband and 2 daughters, will be my first visitors here and I am so excited! I can't wait to hear all about their road trip adventures and introduce her to Charles and see my new home. I'm most looking forward to chilling on the screened-in porch, chatting over beers as we watch the sunset over the pond. I imagine the guys will be in the garage, checking out the Harley and talking shit. And I'm sure the girls will be exploring around the pond.

I'm already relaxed just thinking about it.

Today's Horoscope

You're in a restless, and no matter where you are, there's someplace else you'd rather be. While you might ordinarily be able to distract yourself until you can find a practical way to get out, you're unwilling to waste a moment now. Cut to the chase -- announce to one and all that you've got someplace to be, and get yourself there. It's time for the next step on your journey.

Again, this is a very fitting horoscope for me today. It's my last day of work today. And ever since I announced that I was leaving, my mind has been quickly shutting off. I've been focused on other things, selling my house, packing my stuff, settling in my new home, you know-- basic life stuff.

I know I should be getting concerned about the no work/mortgage due situation. But right now, I just can't. If I worry about it today or tomorrow, it will still be there. But in the meantime I'm enjoying every moment that I spend with Charles as he helps me get familiar with my new surroundings.

I met with a recruiter in Raleigh Wednesday morning which went well. I got a call from another person at a bank asking me to submit my resume for an instructional designer position with them. So at least there's some activity on the job front. That's encouraging enough to me to make me want to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon instead of spending 2 hours scouring the online job boards.

I feel extremely blessed/lucky/grateful about how my life has been lately. Its as if all those wishes after years of blowing out the candles on my birthday cake are finally coming true.

Today's Horoscope

You are definitely feeling that it’s time to take things to a deeper level, and it ought not be too hard to convince your partner you’re right. Don’t worry about the consequences just yet.

From Astrology.com

Today's Horoscope

Prepare yourself for something you'd never have expected in a million years: the chance to start over with a brand new partner. Whether they fall into the romantic, platonic or professional category doesn't matter -- the point is that you're letting a new person into your life with no strings attached. What could possibly be better? Open yourself up to all new possibilities right now.

How's THAT for awesome?!

Tomorrow I start my tip down to Florida for two weeks. Here's my horoscope for today. Sometimes the Universe knows me so well.

You have only one thing to do before you settle down for some serious recreation with your favorite playmates: Make sure all your business is taken care of. You wouldn't want to be in the middle of a wonderful evening, and then suddenly remember you left the computer on, would you? And you'll want to leave the cell phone at home, right? Well then, be sure to double check on your way out the door.

Today's Horoscope

You really do want to go out and play and it has (almost) nothing to do with the fact that it's your day to goof off. What you're really after is socializing -- but not on a lighthearted level. You're in the mood for intense, penetrating conversations, late into the night, about the big issues -- politics, religion and education, for example. All the topics that no one would usually dare to bring up at the dinner table. Good luck!

I love when my horoscope seems to align with my life. This is exactly how I'm feeling lately. I feel involved. I feel like I want to do stuff, to discuss stuff.

2009, ready to see you go

Looks like I'll be job hunting again in a few weeks. My horoscope knows the deal and has send timely advice:

If you remain calm, cool and collected right now, your performance rating will soar. You may be paying a price for your independence and uncompromising attitude. You might have joined the wrong team, but it's too late for regrets. Jump overboard at the first sign of trouble, but think fast once you start swimming. Nobody wants to be at the wheel when the ship goes down. Prove to others that you can be counted on during a crisis.

So you know that huge project I was hired for in July? Well, it was continually pushed back and pushed back, so now it won't actually begin until January.

However, the company that I'm contracting for has just signed an exclusive contract with a training developer vendor that begins January 1. What that means is that independent contractors who are currently with this company will not get their contracts renewed.

I've been working on smaller, pick-up projects at this company since I got here, so that's been keeping me busy... and paid. But my current two projects will last through the end of January and once they're over, my contract is officially over.

Let the job hunt begin again.

The good news is that I've had some good experience here and I've received excellent recommendations from the clients I worked with. I was even recommended to the new vendor as a new hire to aid with the transition.

I'm not freaking out yet about being unemployed in a few weeks. Ask me again at the end of January.

Today's Horoscope

The positive cosmic energy is flowing your way at a rate that would be alarming if it weren't so good. You'll encounter great opportunities to turn big ideas and beautiful dreams into reality, so make a list of what you want this season to bring. The gifts you're looking for are definitely within your grasp, and your powers of communication will help you take the all-important next step.

This has been a fantastic couple of days, especially at work where I'm finally feeling purposeful and intelligent. Everything seems to be going in the right direction. I hope I don't lose my way.

Today's Horoscope

A nagging problem at work or school deserves all your attention as early as possible today -- even if you'd rather be chatting with your friends. This problem involves some time-sensitive elements -- and left unchecked, it could create substantially bigger problems later on. So don't put off dealing with this until tomorrow. You've been battling procrastination for a while, and it's time to get the job done, once and for all.

This is fantastic because I need a kick in the ass right about now.

Today's Horoscope

Don't even try not to purr. This is one of those days -- the kind that have been specially designed to make all your romantic fantasies come true. The best part is that the person you've been dreaming of sharing this kind of day with is either ready to join you (and one well-placed comment will convince them) or already in the vicinity, making a mental list of activities. See? The perfect day.

This is a ridiculously spot-on horoscope today. Sometimes I think the Universe is laughing at me.