Saturday, January 29, 2005

Friday, January 28, 2005


HE LOOKS LIKE.... F'n funny, man!

Friday Four

Q1: If a stranger leaves a voicemail message on your home phone for someone you don't know, do you call the person back to tell them they reached the wrong party? If your answer is no, are there any circumstances under which you think you would call the person back?
Normally, I wold just delete the message. However, if the message involved a desperate plea to reach someone, family emergency for example, I might let them know that they need to update their contact information.

Q2: Currently, no federal laws exist which prohibit using a cell phone while operating a motor vehicle. Proponents of restricting cell phones while driving point to studies that show that their use while driving contributes to distractions, which lead to accidents. Opponents of these restrictions say there is insufficient evidence to conclude that mobile phones are any different from other distractions to drivers. What do you think...should automobile drivers be allowed to talk on the phone while driving?
I wouldn't want to be 'not allowed' to talk on the phone, but this is really just common sense. Use a headset. My car is a stick shift and it would just be impossible and completely dangerous to use the phone without my headseat.

Q3: Industry conferences and trade shows afford their attendees with opportunities to see 'what's next'. For example, at the Outdoor Retailer Show, outdoor recreation industry professionals, i.e., manufacturers, retailers, guides, and the media, all get a sneak peek at the outdoor gear we'll see in stores at some point in the future. If you could choose to attend any one industry conference or trade show, complete with full access to everything and everybody at the show, which industry would you choose?
With the purchase of my new home, I would love to go to those home gadget tradeshows. What would make it even better is if they would give me a goodie bag of each new cool thing.

Q4: Do you have a favorite weird food or weird drink combination? If so, what is it? If not, did you ever have one when you were growing up?
I can't think of anything wierd. The only constant snack I've kept is a glass of cold milk and 6 cookies (no more, no less) before I go to bed.

Holy Shit!

Massive cow manure mound burns for third month

This article puts everything into perspective. Never again will I complain about picking up Barry's poop, no matter what the consistency.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


Although I feel sorry for Barry because he has whipworms, when he poops, he makes this hysterical farting noise. Kinda like a whoppee cushion. What's not funny is picking up the mess that's created from his explosive pooping.

Monday, January 24, 2005

And they call it puppy love...

Last night was a perfect night to just chill out in front of the fire, watching a movie, curled on the couch drinking hot chocolate. Barry was curled up by my feet, his head resting on my ankles.

Barry must have been moved by the romantic mood because he had this look in his eye. Curious, I sat up on my side of the couch to see what he would do. He walked over to me, wrapped his front paws around my knee and started humping. Then his pocket rocket appeared and I gave him the big 'NO!'. I shoved him off the couch and he just looked confused and rejected. He hopped back up on the couch to try a different approach.

S..l..o..w..l..y he made his way back to me on the couch. I was watching him with a smirk on my face because a horny little dog is kinda funny. Very non-chalantly heput his front paws on my leg and made just the smallest humping movements. Like I wouldn't notice. He was back on the floor in 2 seconds.

Poor Barry. He was cooped up in the house and just wanted some lovin'. I can't wait for his nuts to be snipped off. I can't go on rejecting his advances forever, it would be so bad for his ego.

But hey, at least I know I still got it going on!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Blizzard 2005

Little dog in a big world. Posted by Hello

At 5:30am I heard the whining and scratching at the bathroom door where Barry was spending the night. It was at that moment that I realized the sacrifices of my Mother. I now had my own 'child', a living thing to take care of. Something that needs things. And right now, in the wee hours of the morning with a blizzard wailing outside, my 'child' needed to pee.

I ventured outside first, all bundled up in my snowpants, coat, hat, gloves and scarves. I couldn't find my snowboarding goggles, or believe me, I would have had them on too. The snow has accumulated to about 12 inches, which is manageable for me, but Barry is probably about 18 inches high. Exposing your bare butt to the snow is bad enough, I didn't want him to have to drag it completely through while finding a place to pee. I went out, shovel in hand and carved him an area where he could go to the bathroom.

The things I do for this kid.

Barry takes comfort indoors. Posted by Hello

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Shit Happens

Running through six inches of snow with a dog in a gay coat in one hand and a bag of poop in the other is not my idea of a romantic Saturday night.

Friday, January 21, 2005

You better not call me gay in this coat!

 Posted by Hello
Winter has shown her brutal side and the temperature is dropping. Ok, so it's not like it's Minnesota or anything, but it's still F'ing cold.

As much as I enjoy the comforts of a warm house and the ability to use a toilet, Barry is not as lucky. In order for him to relieve himself, without hearing a loud 'NO!', he has to take is tiny little four-legged self outside into the cold and snow to expose his little nutsack to the elements. What makes it even worse was that he was doing it naked and barefoot. Barry would get into his three-legged stance, right leg balancing high in the air as his whole body trembled. Even after he was done peeing, he would still walk around with at least one leg off the ground, trying to escape it from the freezing earth. It was pitiful and hilarious at the same time.

I went off to the pet store (which is just one of the many times this past week) to find a sweater for Barry. I had very limited choices. I was looking for a nice understated knit sweater. One that looked sophisticated yet menacing. Unfortunately, the only one available in his size was that red plaid Groundskeeper Willie coat. I also got him little booties for his paws, but he hasn't gotten used to them yet and they fall right off within 4 steps.

Oh how the other dogs will laugh at him. I feel bad for Barry because he hasn't even had the chance to make a first impression. He's been away from other dogs while he gets over his kennel cough. When he finally gets to meet the dogs in my neighborhood, he'll have this stigma of being a sissy dog with the pansy coat. He'll have to piss on them to show who's boss.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


I have a date tonight. It's with a younger man. His name is Barry and I hope that the meeting will go well. He has four legs.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Insanity By Reason of Cold

-9 degrees?? Are you kidding me? Why would you want to live in a place that goes down to -9 degrees? Does it numb your brain? I bet it's freezing to sit on the toilet seat in the middle of the night. I think I would form a cocoon of microfleece blankets and lay under the covers until the world thawed out. I think I would take a bath in hot chocolate and drink the tub empty. I think I would light my toes on fire just for the warmth.

Either that, or move.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Free Bird

I am officially single. Wednesday night, I drove out to Jim's mom's house (where he's staying) to drop off his guitar. I left the box of other things still in my car. Jim was hanging out in the back bedroom watching tv, shoeless. As I greeted him, there was no hug, no kiss, just a strained 'I haven't seen you in over a month' akwardness. When I told him that I also had more stuff in the car, he asked "Are you tying to tell me something?"

I just shrugged my shoulders and he sighed.

I brought in the box and sat on the bed with Jim while his parents watched tv in the other room.

I told him how I haven't been happy for a long time and he knew that. That this period he was going through was something that he needed to do on his own and I coudn't do it anymore. Plus, I knew that everything coming out of my mouth lately was 'nag, nag, nag', (which he heartily agreed with me) and neither of us wanted to hear that.

It was a calm conversation. It was mature and decent. The most important issue behind my wanting to end the relationship was that I wasn't happy and that Jim wasn't independant. That was made clear and those reasons alone were valid enough for anyone. But I didn't mention my other reasons - but I didn't feel the need to be cruel.

Regardless, neither of us are angry with each other, so I'm sure we'll be talking again in the future. I will miss his son terribly and I will think about him often. But I'm not sad about my decision. I actually feel lighter. Like I can fly.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Women's Best Friend

I think I'm ready to trade in Jimmy for a dog. I'm going down to see Jim after work to drop off his guitar and other stuff that he left at my house. Oh, and I'm going to break it off. I'm not going to ignore it anymore. I'm just going to say that the relationship isn't working anymore and that I'm unhappy. And then I'll leave.

At least, that's my plan.

Monday, January 10, 2005

I Want You To Want Me

I have an interview this afternoon. It's another contract gig at Novartis, but with a different group. I was given the list of responsibilities and requirements last week and knew instantly that I could do it, so I handed in my resume. My friend Annie, who handles the recruitment for contractors said that the manager is all gung-ho for me. It's the project management and technical background that won her over.

I'm not really nervous about this interview. Not that I don't care, or that I'm overly confident, but it's just me talking to another person. There isn't really anything scary or intimidating about it. I'm not desperate for this job, but if it's interesting and the people are nice, and they want me, then I'll be ready for it.

I think that's the secret for successful interviews. Don't be desperate. Be confident in yourself.

That sounds like exactly the same advice I should follow in my relationships. I gotta work on that one.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Women Power

In my midst of mindless blog surfing, I came across this one entry that I found particularly touching. Shoulder to Shoulder Into the Fray.

I felt so proud of those girls who have the energy to let their voices be heard. I hope they keep it up.

Spatial Intelligence

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence

You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.
You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.
An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.
Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstartions help you learn best.

You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.


I am spending my time here in the home office doing nothing but read other blogs. I check out each one's Link section and see where it leads. There has to be something wrong when I'm still getting paid some pretty decent bucks to do nothing but surf from web ite to website. And to top it off, I would so much rather be doing some real work that will actually challenge me. This is the biggest waste of my time.

Big Dreams

I think I need to get me a baby hippo.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Gimme a B, Gimme an O...

I hate being bored. To me, it's the greatest form of torture. Needless to say that I'm completely bored with the majority of things in my life right now. I need a little excitement to shake things up.

The contract work I was doing ended at the end of the year, so now I'm at the home office of my company doing a lot of nothing. Monday, Beth and I went out shopping for 4 hours. Fortunately, I was told of another contract opportunity. It some kind of online training coordinator. I saw the requirements list and I can do everything that's listed. So I updated my resume and handed it in to our Human Resources department for placement. Turns out the manager there is interested in my resume so I'll be setting up an interview soon.

I thought I would be happy coming back to the home office, but I was completely wrong. For one, the work environment sucks. It's uninspiring to look at. The chairs hurt my back and the whole desk setup is totally un-ergonomic. You never know how much you miss under-desk mounted keyboard drawers until you don't have them anymore. Plus, the freezer door in the kitchen is completely iced over and frozen shut. It's disgusting. Beth called me a 'princess' because I was complaining so much about it. I just think that she's been living with this sub-standard working environment for so long that she's just used to it.

Relationship... I'm bored with that too. I think Jim has his own path to take to get where he needs to be and it's a path that I just don't need to be on. I've already done that. I don't want to backtrack. I'm not ready to face what I know I have to do yet.

I'm also bored at home, but I think that will change. From being so sick for the past week, I was stuck there unable to do anything. The laundry piled up, crap piled up and now I'm surrounded by little piles of boxes, papers, various objects all over the place. The thought of them there all unorganized is stating to drive me crazy and I know that I will quickly hit my tolerance level and begin to put my home in order soon. But until I get to my boiling point I hang out in Barnes & Noble reading books in the aisles and giving myself any excuse for not going home.

Sigh. I hate the winter blahs.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Happy Goo Year

The new year has started off with a bang, or should I say a cough and sniffle.

Starting the Sunday after Christmas, I have been violently ill with the flu. It started as a small scratch at the back of my throat as I was wandering the streets of Greenwich Village in the snow. I thought my exhaustion was due to spending all afternoon walking around NYC, but come Monday morning at work, my entire body shut down and by 1:00 pm, I was home in bed under the covers, shivering and coughing with every muscle of my body in pain. The worst part of the entire ordeal was coughing so hard that I wet my pants. How's that for a regression to pre-potty training days.

For five days my body was in a constant battle between the forces of good and evil. I survived on a diet of meds, soup and peanut butter sandwiches. I was barely alive. Finally my mother returned on vacation on Friday so I gathered myself up and went to my parents' house for some well needed pampering. The best part was actually eating real food. I just had to think of something good and nourishing to eat and it appeared at the kitchen table. I had endless supplies of cough medicine, tissues, tea and mentholated steam for me to breathe in. I was still not well, but life was more bearable. Moms can do that.

Finally, more than a week since that first throat tickle, I'm finally beginning to feel better. The snot is finally starting to run clear instead of that slimy yellowish-green crap that it used to be. Yeay for sinus infections!