Friday, January 21, 2005

You better not call me gay in this coat!

 Posted by Hello
Winter has shown her brutal side and the temperature is dropping. Ok, so it's not like it's Minnesota or anything, but it's still F'ing cold.

As much as I enjoy the comforts of a warm house and the ability to use a toilet, Barry is not as lucky. In order for him to relieve himself, without hearing a loud 'NO!', he has to take is tiny little four-legged self outside into the cold and snow to expose his little nutsack to the elements. What makes it even worse was that he was doing it naked and barefoot. Barry would get into his three-legged stance, right leg balancing high in the air as his whole body trembled. Even after he was done peeing, he would still walk around with at least one leg off the ground, trying to escape it from the freezing earth. It was pitiful and hilarious at the same time.

I went off to the pet store (which is just one of the many times this past week) to find a sweater for Barry. I had very limited choices. I was looking for a nice understated knit sweater. One that looked sophisticated yet menacing. Unfortunately, the only one available in his size was that red plaid Groundskeeper Willie coat. I also got him little booties for his paws, but he hasn't gotten used to them yet and they fall right off within 4 steps.

Oh how the other dogs will laugh at him. I feel bad for Barry because he hasn't even had the chance to make a first impression. He's been away from other dogs while he gets over his kennel cough. When he finally gets to meet the dogs in my neighborhood, he'll have this stigma of being a sissy dog with the pansy coat. He'll have to piss on them to show who's boss.

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