Tuesday, August 31, 2010

My new place

It has been two weeks since my fairy tale ended and I moved into my new apartment.

I swear to God, I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm not sad, and I'm not even angry anymore at Charles. Honestly, I feel a lot of...nothing. I may have come to North Carolina for Charles, but I'm staying for me.

Happiness is found in a shower curtainImage by bearclau via FlickrMy apartment is slowly coming together. I finally get to make the place I'm living in my own. That was one of the problems with moving into Charles' house. It was still very much his and there wasn't a lot of 'me' represented. It wasn't until my last week there that I actually got a space carved out for me, which was my own desk and bookshelf. That's now with me.

The first thing I got was this fun and bright shower curtain and matching yellow and green towels. This just screams FUN to me and it makes me smile every time I come into my bathroom. (My bathroom, by the way. One that I don't have to share with people who don't believe in hanging up towels after a shower.)

Surf KitchenImage by bearclau via FlickrMy kitchen is much smaller than my townhouse and storage is limited. So I guess it's a good thing that I got rid of most of my stuff before I moved down here. (insert sarcasm). However, for reasons I can't explain, my 6 foot surfboard, that I never use, has traveled with me since I first moved out of my parents' house when I was 25 years old.

That surfboard now has a new home above my kitchen cabinets. I like it.

Let's not forget the pool! AND I have a gym -- which I actually go to.
Yes, life definitely does not suck.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A new me

It's official, I'm now a citizen of North Carolina.

This is actually my second NC drivers license. You know, because the first one had an address that I no longer live at.

But that's ok because I like where I am now. A lot!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Landing on my feet

Let your natural smarts and intuition be your guide today, especially when dealing with relationships. For the next few days, you can see more deeply beneath the surface to what's happening on another level, which gives you a kind of sixth sense when observing personal interactions. With this kind of thinking, you can open your mind and strengthen your bonds. It's a great opportunity, so seize it! -- today's horoscope

Even in the strangest of circumstances, I have always had the ability to turn things around and ultimately land on my feet. However, right now I'm dealing with my world turning upside-down and I really hope those feline instincts kick in.

On my 37th birthday, just 3 months ago, I put my house in New Jersey on the market to move to North Carolina. I was going to live with my boyfriend, an amazing man who I met a month and a half earlier on vacation and who I thought would be 'the one'.

Last week I was asked to move out. According to him, his ex-wife was threatening to sue for custody of the kids because living in sin was not a good environment. In three days, I had found an apartment, signed a lease, and moved in. I had thought that this was a good thing. I truly believed that going from long-distance relationship to living together was just too much of a strain and that by me having my own place, we could go back to dating and being normal.

It's never good when you get a text saying 'we have to talk'.

I went to his house and knocked on the door. I still had a key, but I thought that would be rude to let myself in. When he didn't answer right away, I cleared out the remaining things I had in the garage. When he did finally answer the door, I got the last of my things from the hall closet. When I had it all gathered, I turned to him.

"What? What do you have to tell me?"

"I think its pretty obvious. We haven't been getting along to well these last few days."

Um, you think it could be because you made me leave??

There was so much I wanted to yell and scream. But really, what's the point. If he didn't want to be with me, then I wasn't going to beg.

"So who really kicked me out? You or [her]?"



So I learned what a coward he really is.

And I can pick myself up, turn this around, and continue on with my adventure. Because that's what life is really about, right?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Thrown under the bus

I get my own apartment tomorrow. Not because I want to, but because I was made to. It sucks having your life turned upside down unexpectedly.

But on the plus side, I get a sweet pool with the apartment, free cable/HBO, washer/dryer, gym. And Barry comes to live with me!!

Monday, August 02, 2010

Today's Horoscope

Take time for yourself by putting your life on hold. Walk around the park, stare at the sky and otherwise refresh your senses with the parts of life that really matter. Sunshine and open space are vital for you now. The peace can help you ponder everything that's going on in your life. Once you feel centered, you're better able to take on the challenges that come later.

Timely advice right now. I feel like I've been engrossed in a world of cooking, cleaning, and working. I'm beginning to wonder who this person is whose skin I'm living in.

The fairy tale has been bombarded with real-life: kids and bills. It takes some adjusting and sometimes its hard to keep up.

But at least I know that my Prince Charming is right here with me.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

First light

I've been awake for over 90 minutes but I only got out of bed 20 minutes ago. I watched the sky begin to lighten through the window blinds and I felt my mind become more awake. The only noise was the big, fat, North Carolina-sized raindrops smacking against the roof.

I slinked out of bed, grabbed my laptop, made some coffee and found a spot in the back family room. A cushy spot on the comfy leather sofa.

Charles was soundly sleeping in bed. His daughter and her friend were curled up in her room, probably sleeping only a few hours after an evening of texting.

In the solitude I can enjoy this peacefulness. Take advantage of some 'me time'. Not think about the laundry that needs to be put away or what to make for dinner. I can read my book; sip my coffee. Maybe if I'm feeling particurally energetic, I'll do some stretches and meditative breaths.

But for right now I think the best move is to not move at all. To just listen to the rhythm of the raindrops and breathe.