A Little Tenderness

Where are the guys who will go to any lengths to be noticed by the one they love?

I <3 Duckie!

Calvin the Explorer

The last cartoon for Calvin & Hobbes was special to me. While it was sad that my favorite 6 year old kid and his imaginary tiger friend were leaving, it reminded me that with every end is a new beginning. One that is full of magic, mystery and something exciting.

I feel it's about that time for some exploring.

10 Reasons Why Being Alone Sucks

1. No one to talk to (that will answer you back). Dogs don't count.
2. I never get any pictures taken of me.
3. Single supplement fees when traveling.
4. When something cool/funny/sad/scary happens, there's no one to share it with.
5. Beds always seem much too large.
6. Can't reach that itch in the middle of my back.
7. I can have shit stuck in my teeth / fly unzipped and no one to warn me.
   
8. If I fall and can't get up, who'll get help? I'm too young for LifeAlert.
9. Having to kill my own bugs.
10. No one else's dessert to take a bite of to sample.
    

On dreams

I have recurring dreams of being swept over by a huge tidal wave. Sometimes they're nightmares, other times they're just...dreams.

Last night I had another one.

I was on the top deck of a cruise ship. It was still in harbor and was shielded by the ocean beyond by a sea wall that put the ship below sea level. It was almost as if the ship was docked in a lock.

I was amazed by the sight of the dorsal fin of a killer whale swimming just on the other side of the sea wall. I called all my friends to witness the beauty of the orca as it swam by and breached.

But with that breach brought the wave. A wall of turquoise rose above the ship and the shadow of the killer whale was inside. I knew what was to come (from all my other tidal wave dreams), so I took a deep breath and dove into the wave.

Inside the water was calm, no violent currents. Just the water surrounding me. I knew I had to get to the surface before I ran out of breath, but I couldn't swim up because all around me were the killer whales and great white sharks gobbling everything up in sight. I saw the huge jaws of a shark swallow a person whole.

What was crazy about this dream was how calm I was. I felt the air in my lungs giving out and I desperately wanted to take a gasp in, but I knew that I would drown. Looking up at the surface, I knew I was a good 40 feet underwater and wasn't sure if I would even make it. I knew from my scuba lessons that air expands in my lungs as I ascend and there's a slight chance that I would have enough air to reach the surface, but those damn sharks and killer whales were in my way.

So I stayed there standing on the top deck of the cruise ship, 4o feet underwater, watching the terrors swim above my head and my only hope to survive beyond that. And with full awareness of my demise, I calmly waited for the air to run out...

...and I woke up.

What is your recurring dream?

Man of the house

I'm getting quotes for a patio install. I've been in my place 5 years and I think its about time to get rid of the scraggly grass and have a nice paved entertaining space. Thank God for Home Depot.

Today I got a call from the contractor's scheduler to arrange for an appointment. She took some initial information, like the dimensions of the patio, and gave me a ballpark estimate. $4500 - $4900. Yikes.

I humed and hawed for a second.

"Well, maybe you can talk it over with your husband?"

What. The. Fuck.

I hate it when people assume that I'm the 'little woman' who needs her big, strong husband to make all the decisions for me.

I didn't say anything. I let it go, because there's no use pissing off the people who you're trying to get to help you. But really, F her.

Beach, beers and big mouths

Saturday night was our third annual Pre-Summer Girls Night Out at my friend's house down the shore. We went out to Jenkinson's, a club in Point Pleasant, NJ. The riduculous part was that we all used to party there 15 years ago. And now we showed up with coupons for free admission while the now 22-year-olds were laughing at us.

Whatever. F them.

But the real question is, what the hell am I doing?

My New Favorite Thing

I get worked up over stupid things lately, so when something so meaningless can make me feel better, I want the world to know.

This little makeup set is from the NP Set line called Bon Voyage Baby. I love it because it's so compact, the neutral colors and it has everything I need to feel pretty. It comes with 3 eye shadows, 2 lip glosses and a little applicator. And the mirror on the lid completes the package.

Now that summer is right around the corner, I don't want to be weighed down with heavy makeup. With Bon Voyage Baby, it provides the perfect polish to go from drab to dazzling.

Alone in a crowd

I'm at that moment in my life where I don't want to stay home, but I don't necessarily feel like being social. So instead, I've opted for being alone in a crowd.

It's a beautiful Friday night, 70 degrees, clear, calm night. It would be perfect to take a walk hand-in-hand along the bustling city streets with a special someone. But there is no special someone. That doesn't mean that I still can't take myself out on a date.

Not too far away from me is a cute little town square, with wide sidewalks, outdoor seats and a coffee shop with a guy playing acoustic guitar. Perfect.

Armed with my journal, book and laptop I took the ride 10 miles away just to be lost in a small crowd. I have my caramel macchiato, raspberry cheesecake tart, good live music and free wi-fi. I couldn't be more contempt right now.

Back-seat lurkers

*sigh* It never fails.

Random thoughts

"It's not that I think everyone else is an idiot, I just think that I'm better than them."

"At what age is it just stupid to have every comment you utter reference getting drunk?"

"It's nice to know that I have over $35,000 in student loan debt to be a copy/paster."

In a meeting, a coworker said "How do I get an overpaid job where I can be arrogant and not really know what I'm talking about?"
It took all of my willpower not to reply with "You already do."

The future awaits

I was told by a psychic reader that April will be a big month for me; a month of change and regeneration. At the time, I didn't pay much attention to it. But since yesterday I felt this kind of electric energy coursing through my veins. And if it's true that you can make your own reality, than I have to believe that April is the start of something good for me.

Yesterday I officially started the inquiries into a job search. I was also in touch with an old friend. And today's horoscope is encouraging:

You will be at the top of your game today! You'll come up with the perfect answer at the perfect time. You'll toss out the sassiest comeback to a flirtatious comment. You'll be in the right place at the right time. In short, everything you need will be at either the tip of your tongue or your fingertips. This will naturally put you in a great mood, which will go a long way toward putting a blue friend into a better mood. Spread your luck around -- it is contagious.

So, here's to Spring and a new cycle of my life.

No respect

There's this unsaid joke among a few (ex)co-workers about a particular manager who always seems to find excuses to duck out of work early.

Today's email from my manager:

I am headed out just after 3pm to be home for the bus – I will be available via phone (home or cell) after 3:30pm and online.

Samantha has her first Tee Ball practice this afternoon as well - so if the rainy weather does not force cancellation of the practice I am will be available after 5pm via my cell phone and email.

So I replied:

I have to go home at 2:54pm today because my dog lets lonely and likes to sit on my lap. I’ll be available using mental telepathy. Barry has obedience school this afternoon as well, so if he doesn’t maul the Great Dane in his class, I am available after 5pm via my iPod.

But Steve beat us all...

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately I am out of the office. My imaginary friend is having dental surgery and while I am not helping that friend in any way, I am mentioning it here for sympathy. If I am sober, you should be able to contact me after the day is already formally over and you will likely want to go home to have your own life. If you still must contact me, feel free to use passenger pigeon and allow 3 to 8 weeks for reply.

I Twitter therefore I am

I'm too lazy and uninspired to write a proper blog entry, so I'll resort to finding comics that translate my life.

This one cracks me up because just yesterday Mike asked me what I did this weekend.

"If you read my Tweets you'd already know."

Funny because it's true

Hide and Seek

Barry has this new thing going. He looks for impossible places to fit his body to hide from everyone. He's been doing this for a few weeks and I don't understand why.

This morning I was getting ready to leave for work. I yelled out to Barry to say goodbye and there was no response.

Hmm, that's strange.

I went into the bedrooms and looked under the bed. No dog.

I went into the bathrooms and looked in the bathtubs. No dog.

I opened closet doors all over the house. Maybe he got stuck in there? No dog.

By this time I looked in his known hiding spots and I couldn't find him anywhere. I started to wonder, "did I leave him outside? Could he have unlocked the door and take himself for another walk? Nah, he doesn't have opposable thumbs."

So I had to revert to the only known trick that could root Barry out from where ever he was hiding.

"Do you want to go for a ride to Mommy's house?"

In the kitchen I heard the jingle of his collar. A heard a cabinet door open and shut. And Barry came happily trotting around the corner into the living room where I was.

I couldn't help but laugh. Barry can now nose my kitchen cabinets open and nudge his way inside just so he could sit in a dark, enclosed space.

I have a weird dog.

Geek out

I have been very busy blogging the last few days, just not here. If you want to be geeked out on elearning and stuff like that, head over to my other blog.

I'm attending the eLearning Guild's Annual Gathering | 09 in Orlando, FL. I haven't been to the House of Mouse yet. I think that will be tomorrow.

hot dog

hot dog
Originally uploaded by fartparty.org

cutest thing ever!

High School Reunion

I love how Facebook has been bringing people together. Saturday, all because of our reconnections on Facebook, many of my classmates from high school got together to meet up. Many after 18 years.

It was great to see everyone. At first I was worried that I wouldn't be able to recognize who came in the room, especially those who I really didn't hang out with, but it was easy. People really haven't changed and it was pretty comforting.

The best part was the ease in which we all talked with each other. None of the 'clique-y' barriers that existed in school were there anymore. Everyone was amazing, everyone was beautiful, everyone had their own story to tell. There were some moments of 'remember when' but mostly we talked about our new lives, our successes, and (in some cases) children.

It wasn't until that reunion that I fully realized the wealth I had growing up with these people. We all 'stayed real' and didn't put on any illusions of grandeur. We had the support in our lives to achieve whatever we wanted to, but were also kept grounded by our roots -- and from what I saw, no one seemed to loose sight of where we came from.

Colonia High School Class of 1991. You rock!

(Rest of photos)

Snow day

The east coast got hit with a snowstorm overnight. Even before I was heading to bed, I saw all the Facebook posts that school was already cancelled and everyone was excited for a snow day. Especially the teachers.

I looked out the window. Yeah, there was snow, but the roads are being cleared. I can see traffic moving on the main road in front of my house. There's no reason to stay home.

I stayed home all day yesterday. I never got out of my pajamas. I never brushed my teeth, let alone brushed my hair. My dog was at my parents' house so I had the whole day to be alone. And I was bored.

I *tried* to do homework. My goal was to take an exisitng, boring online course that my company developed and rewrite it to fit the constructivist learning theory using rapid-development software. I'm trying to use Adobe Captivate. I got nowhere. I just didn't have the motivation to understand exactly what constructivism means, to rewrite anything, or to learn new software. So instead I wound up trying to take a nap, making tuna melts for lunch, watching 2.5 movies (I couldn't sit through the last one) and eating nachos. As relaxing as the day was, I was kinda bored. I was lonely.

So today when faced with the decision to work from home, I'm torn. I really don't want to spend another day by myself trying to be productive. But on the other hand, I'm not that excited to drive to work and sit at my cube and spend another day trying to be productive. My project schedule is currently at the point where I'm waiting for other people to do things so there's not much I actively have to do. It's depressing.

Maybe I'll go somwhere with free wi-fi and work from there. I wouldn't be home, but I wouldn't be at work either.

I'm so looking forward to next week when I'm in Orlando geeking out at the eLearning Guild's Annual Gathering.

Answering the call

Last night President Obama gave his first State of the Nation address to congress. One of the three areas his administration will invest in to secure our nation is education.

In a global economy, where the most valuable skill you can sell is your knowledge, a good education is no longer just a pathway to opportunity. It is a prerequisite....So tonight I ask every American to commit to at least one year or more of higher education or career training. This can be a community college or a four-year school, vocational training or an apprenticeship. But whatever the training may be, every American will need to get more than a high school diploma.

This is good news to me because this means that there is a place for me and the work I want to do. My challenge is now finding how I fit in.