F

I love the word Fuck. It's actually my favorite word.

I love the intensity in which its said - regardless of the context. Just the shape of the mouth to make the 'F' sound is so forceful, that sometimes I can just say 'F!' as opposed to acutally saying Fuck (especially at work). It still get's my point across.

Fuck is just fun to say. I like how it takes on various meanings and connotations and it is instantly recogizable. For example:

Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

It just rolls off my tongue so easily. Like poetry - from your local truck stop.

Now, I'm not a vulgar person really. People don't normally associate me with having the mouth of a sailor. You might hear me say 'crap' more often than a carelessly spewed 'shit' or 'dammit'. The latter two are said too quickly. There's no time to really reflect on the word. 'Crap' is a little better in that it allows you to intensify the amount of crappiness just by how long you hold the 'a'. Another example:

'Craaaaaaaapp!' would be appropriate for forgetting your wallet at your desk when you're at the register in the cafeteria.

But the Hosannah of all curses is 'Mother Fucker'. That is saved for special occasions, such as for the asshole that cuts in front of you when you've waited for a quarter mile line to get off the exit ramp of the highway. It holds the top honor because it allows you to trail off the final 'er' into a loud, primal scream that holds as long as your lungs can supply breath.

Sometimes I say 'fuck' when I'm alone at home, just so I can hear my own voice. It makes me feel alive.

'Fuck' doesn't always have to be said in anger. Apart from the obvious horny command 'fuck me', or the juvinile retort 'fuck you', there is also the endering 'fucker' that I normally reserve for my pets.

"Hi fuckers! What are you up to today? You like your food?"

So, as I've shown, curses no longer need to be reserved for women with questional morals, New Jersey mobsters or acne-scarred teenagers hanging out at the corner smoking cigaretts. They can be a part of mainstream America. 'Fuck' especially can be the cherry on top of an otherwise bland vocabulary.

Fuck you very much and go fuck yourself.