No respect

There's this unsaid joke among a few (ex)co-workers about a particular manager who always seems to find excuses to duck out of work early.

Today's email from my manager:

I am headed out just after 3pm to be home for the bus – I will be available via phone (home or cell) after 3:30pm and online.

Samantha has her first Tee Ball practice this afternoon as well - so if the rainy weather does not force cancellation of the practice I am will be available after 5pm via my cell phone and email.

So I replied:

I have to go home at 2:54pm today because my dog lets lonely and likes to sit on my lap. I’ll be available using mental telepathy. Barry has obedience school this afternoon as well, so if he doesn’t maul the Great Dane in his class, I am available after 5pm via my iPod.

But Steve beat us all...

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately I am out of the office. My imaginary friend is having dental surgery and while I am not helping that friend in any way, I am mentioning it here for sympathy. If I am sober, you should be able to contact me after the day is already formally over and you will likely want to go home to have your own life. If you still must contact me, feel free to use passenger pigeon and allow 3 to 8 weeks for reply.